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Saturday, December 15, 2001 ( 10:05 PM ) shut up christine Woke up at 7 today...7pm. Called tele and learned my grades for fall quarter. Under any other circumstance I would kick myself swiftly in the ass, but I'm glad I fell flat on my face this time. Hey, I could have done a lot worse. This only gives me more motivation to kick ass (in a good way) next quarter. Hopefully, I'll be taking 18 units in the winter, and I know I can do it. I feel so pumped up right now...I can feel myself pushing back the barriers of my personal limitations, and it feels damn good. Sadly, I might not be able to take the classes I want...did anyone else know winter quarter fees were due last Friday? Tele says that my fees are unpaid. My mom swears she never got my zotbill, but that shouldn't matter since the navy pays for all my tuition. I hope this is just a big mistake, otherwise all my classes will be dropped..but I don't want to think about that right now. # Friday, December 14, 2001 ( 4:05 AM ) shut up christine Break out the macaroni...this one is cheeeee-zay. (sorry. That pun was horrible. Horrible!) Thursday night, Mesa Court Commons, 7ish pm. The BGs were almost finished with dinner when Eileen announced she had another joke to tell. *moan…not another one!* “Okay, so there’s this guy with no arms or legs…I think that’s how the joke went…no no no, it was a Mexican guy at a nude beach...hmm, maybe he was a Filipino fob…” Christine tried to listen but she felt a sudden surge of sleep engulf her body. *Picture this: Dark fragrant room, stars peeking in through the skylight, puffs of silver smoke swirling around. Suddenly, the smoke lifts and Christine sees a soft silhouette across the room…listen, do you hear that? That song...oh my goodness, could it be? Only in Dreams. Cheesy, yes, I know* The mysterious figure slowly made his way toward her. With each step, the silver smoke swirled closer ever so lightly, embracing the two in their very own cloud 9. Christine mustered up all her courage and said, “I’m going to say it all right now because I don’t think I’ll ever get this chance again….I think I lo…..” “Shhhh.” He gently pressed his index finger up to her lips to keep her from saying another word. Oddly, his finger smelled like teriyaki sauce. WTF? Anywho…… “Shhhh…I already know…(long pause)…and I feel the same way,” he whispered into her ear. Christine felt her heart jump for joy. Finally! She had waited so long for this moment. She took a small step back to look into his gorgeous brown eyes and…. “OUUCHH!! OW OW OW OWWW!!!” Good grief. Her hair was stuck in his retainer. It took awhile but they got themselves untangled. Una vez mas….Christine looked into his gorgeous brown eyes, swore to herself that she would remember this moment for the rest of her life, and then *here it comes!* she slowly leaned in for the kiss… “GET OFF ME!” Woah. Christine woke up and she was back in the commons. “GET OFF ME, HOMES!!. AHAHAAAAAHA. Funny, huh? Do you guys get it? Get off me, Homes…cuz it’s a house. Get it?!?” Eileen snarfed. “Yeah, we get it, Eileen.” Christine smiled, picked up an uneaten cherry tomato from her salad plate, and chucked it at Eileen’s forehead. THE END. For those that are wondering, Eileen's joke was: "What did the Mexican guy say when his house fell on him?" "Get off me, Homes!" yeah. # Thursday, December 13, 2001 ( 5:33 AM ) shut up christine It was really late, and cold, and scary….but Christine had to walk back to Brisa by herself after studying for hours and hours at the library, because, well, we all know how studious Christine is (suuuuuuure, whatever you say). Hey, this is my story! MINE! Get outta here and stop making comments in parenthesis. (ok, ok…sheesh…SOMEONE is on her rag psshh) Damn alter egos…where was I? Oh yes...so Christine was walking home all by her lonesome self when a chill down her back made the hairs on her neck stand straight up. *crunch crunch crunch* Christine stopped dead in her tracks. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” *Complete silence except for the rustling of discarded frat party flyers being blown by the wind* “What the….it’s nothing. Calm yourself, Christine.” She continued walking but at a faster pace. *crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch* She stopped again and slowly turned around…..*crrrruuuuuunchhh* “Oh, haha, I had a crumpled piece of paper stuck to my shoe. Silly me. Phew, I thought someone was follo….GASP!” In the few seconds spent peeling the paper off the bottom of her shoe, a ring of rabbits had gathered around her - their cold, beady eyes staring deep into her soul. Christine fainted. At the precise moment her head hit the pavement, her life for the past 3 months flashed before her. *Move-in day; countless games of mafia in the living room; meals on the grass; my first foam dance; a new movie every night; trips to cha for tea when Craig and Charlie used to come; running back to Brisa that one night because I laughed so hard and almost peed my pants; a deep, late night talk with Phil, Eileen, Jeff, Joe, and Flo when I barely even knew you; “It’s a secret”; Peter singing Blink one hundred eighty-two; taking up four tables at the commons; “oops I dropped my chapstick”; clown walking; baking; taping notes to the kitchen sink wall; hear hear!; running thru the sprinklers; ice cream night; Only in Dreams; sequined headbands; dorm hopping; dirty sanchez and hot lunch; MCC meetings; “Shit! These dorms smell like shit!”; sleepovers almost every night; ghost stories; Ikea; pad pranks; being kidnapped by the boneyard; “Mark is naked!”; watching music videos on jess’s computer; decorating white boards; my boobs don’t have any feeling; Haunt the Halls; Knott’s Scary Farm; put yo hands up in the air; “My fish are dead!”; Search for Peter the Anteater toilet paper accessories; BGAAAA!; long talks at the commons; dance party in Flo and Mel’s room; Bohemian Rhapsody; AIM; “I throw my tomato at you”; “Christine, no talking or moving for 5 minutes” –Quyen; kettle corn; Instant Ramen; thongs outside pants; fixing misunderstandings; Taylor; Del Taco; “I wonder what turtles look like without their shells” –Tracy (and other thought provoking questions); karaoke with Joe; masking tape; guitar night; Baskin Robbins; “We could throw marshmallows at their windows”-Flo; humming the national anthem; guys are bastards; Benihana; Weezer; playtime at 12; therapeutic conversations; hamster dance; skipping thru MC at 3am; Lago; feeding rabbits; playing at the UCI bookstore; rolling down hills; streaking; making t-shirts; clogged toilets; lying in Aldrich Park, wishing on shooting stars, and then picking out a star for each of us.* When Christine woke up from her mini-coma, she saw 6 familiar faces smiling down at her. “Jessica…Eileen…Flo….Mel…Tracy… Quyen? What are you guys doing here?” “We were worried about you…you didn’t come back last night.” “Aww, you guys came to look for me?” Christine was on the verge of tears. “Of course,” they replied. “That’s what friends are for.” Christine was both thankful and blessed to have met 6 such wonderful people these last few months. They helped her to her feet, brushed her off, and walked back to Brisa together….. and Christine was so happy. The end. # Wednesday, December 12, 2001 ( 6:23 AM ) shut up christine I'm so excited about visiting my friend Linda in Pomona on Friday! I miss you Linda. Sidenote: I am on my rag for the second time in one month! I finished last week and now its back again. Geez, I'm so fertile. I'll write more later. # Monday, December 10, 2001 ( 10:08 PM ) shut up christine Dedicated to my beloved Brisans. You asked; here is my answer. I remember like it was yesterday *fuzzy dream sequence* About 9 or 10 years ago, when Christine was a wee lad, she went to the local AlphaBeta supermarket with her mother. She happily skipped down the aisles but came to a sudden stop when a glimmer reflecting off the Welch’s Grape Jelly Limited Edition Looney Tunes Collectible Jars caught her eye. “Mmmmmm *drool* …jelllllay.” Christine, being too preoccupied searching for the Yosemite Sam jar, failed to notice the deranged bagboy barreling down the aisle at rocket pace. *CRRAASHH!* The bagboy’s shopping cart collided into little Christine, throwing her body 6 feet into the air. Luckily, the jumbo jet-puffed marshmallow display broke her fall. “Wh….where am I?” Christine said when she finally woke up. “Don’t worry hun, you’re at AlphaBeta,” cooed the nice store manager. He had set down several packages of Depends for Men as a makeshift bed for her. Awww, how sweet. Christine was alright, but the shopping cart’s impact severed many of the nerves in her yet-to-bud chest. And that, my child, is why Christine has no feeling in her boobs...all because of a tragic shopping cart incident. THE END. can you guys tell how bored i am? i miss you. # ( 4:27 AM ) shut up christine “OH CRRAAAAPPP! I’m late I’m late I’m late I’m late!” Christine mumbled as she ran to her first class of the new quarter – Native American Sand Art 101. She burst through the door of the lecture hall and scanned the room for an empty seat, spying one close to the front. “Is this seat taken?” “No,” squeaked a voice from the next seat over. “Thank goodness,” she whispered with a sigh of relief as she plopped down. “I’m Christi…..” she stopped mid-sentence when she finally got a good look at the person speaking. He was wearing a red polka-dot bowtie. “My name’s Christine. What’s yours?” “Uhh…my name *squeak* is Jonas,” the boy shyly answered. “Hi Jonas. Did I miss anything important?” “Uhh, not really. Don’t worry about it…you can see my notes later if you want,” he blushed. Christine smiled at Jonas’ shy mannerisms and his genuine nice-ness. And he was wearing a bowtie. Christine loves bowties. While the professor rambled on about the various types of glue used in sand paintings, Christine used her peripheral vision to study the guy sitting next to her. He was a geeky-looking white boy…loafers, too-short khakis, disheveled hair, an argyle sweater, and a red polka-dot bowtie, bless his little heart. Christine felt her own heart skip a beat when she saw his backpack – it was large and rectangular… the kind with a retractable handle……..and wheels. Wow. Christine snapped back into reality at the sound of her professor’s booming voice. “Now pair up with a partner! We will begin our first project at once!” Immediately Christine turned to Jonas and asked, “Wanna be my partner?” “Sure,” he said quietly. Halfway into the project, Christine had had enough. “I….can’t….do….this. It’s just….too…..hard! I’ll never pass this class!” Christine tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, but only succeeded in getting colored sand all over her face. “Awww, don’t worry.” Jonas shuffled his feet and stared at the ground. “I’ll….I’ll help you,” he said as he brushed some of the sand off her nose. He took her palm into his, sprinkled some red sand into it, and then slowly guided it along the glue-covered paper. Jonas’ face was thisclose to Christine’s, and she could smell his scent…the smell of sweet strawberries in the summertime. * super corny scene, kinda like the pottery-making scene in the movie Ghost…but instead of clay, there was sand* “That’s all for today, class! See you next week!” boomed the professor. The porn music playing in Christine’s head was cut short. Damn it. “Geez louise, our professor’s voice is sooo loud. I’ll be deaf by the end of the quarter,” Christine muttered as she packed up her stuff to leave. “Yeah, if it’s too loud, turn it down” Jonas said. “Wait, what did you just say?” Christine gasped. “I…I just said…if it’s too loud…….” “……..turn it down,” Christine whispered, finishing his sentence for him. (BGs…you don’t understand this last part, do you? DO YOU?! Have I not taught you anything? Ask me about it later.) Without another word, Jonas reached out and held Christine’s hand…and the two frolicked in the rain. THE END. # |
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