shut up christine | |
Friday, March 23, 2018 ( 10:40 PM ) shut up christine unsure what to say. it comes out of nowhere
i was told i broke my mom's heart, nine years ago, i think?
when i said fuck you to my parents
my mom has never forgiven me for saying those words
i should just apologize, they said
would that fix us? would that make you happy
did i ever ask my dad to apologize for what happened that day
for pinning me against a desk and strangling me? for trying to hit me in the head with a stepladder
were you trying to kill me then? i never questioned it
have i ever asked you to apologize for the beatings
for the names
have i ever fucking asked you??
i stopped talking for a long time as a child it took me years of hard work to overcome my shyness and anxiety to speak without having back pain. without shaking
you will never get an apology from me
i broke your heart?
you broke me long before that
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Monday, March 12, 2018 ( 12:37 PM ) shut up christine fuckity fuck
the other night i went for a run right after it had rained
this is my worst, most crippling fear in life
(this, and driving in san francisco/ parts of los angeles. driving has become more difficult for me but i am trying not to let the anxiety overcome my life. these fears are creations of my mind. you're not a crazy person, girlfriend. face your fears and get it under control)
i had to keep my hand over my mouth because i kept screaming
i almost started crying
then i took a picture because they are just snails and they have no power over me!
fuck you
French Becky - Grace Mitchell
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