shut up christine | |
Friday, October 20, 2017 ( 11:05 AM ) shut up christine inner dialogue yesterday i had a really great conversation with a coworker in which some brutal truths were exchanged he told me that because i always stay late at work, it shows that i'm drowning, that i can't "handle" it, that in effect i am a weak nurse because it is always unacceptable to stay late, there is no excuse and i have a lot of excuses i know this is a weakness of mine. i am inefficient. i need to delegate. maybe i spend too much time doing things. i chart late in the day. it's ok to endorse work to the next shift. these are my weaknesses, but does that make me a bad nurse? another charge nurse later that night told me how strong i am, that i stay late because i care, i work really hard. and we talked about improvements i could make: time management goals, setting limits and boundaries with both patients and when endorsing care to the next shift, improving my prioritizing skills, and communicating when i need help to get caught up so that i can leave on time. this second conversation was much more constructive and helpful coworker #1 believes it's important to let a nurse drown, as a learning experience. he says that allowing people to drown and figure it out for themselves makes them stronger. while i understand the rationale, we discussed another coworker who continues to struggle, even after a year. his tough-love-figure-it-out-yourself-approach hasn't worked in this case, and the outcome is you have a struggling team member who is scared to ask you questions or come to you for help. that's being an ineffective charge nurse. we're all different, an approach that works for 1 person won't work for everyone. and in the end, it's about the patients, right? during my orientation, my trainer purposely set me up to fail, and then would literally call me a "little shit" or "cunt" during that time i meditated a lot. i started believing that i was slow and stupid and unsafe, and that i shouldn't have gone into nursing. i hated work. if you attribute my successes since then to her training of me, fuck that when coworker #1 says i was tough on you, i made you figure it out on your own, and look where you are now, look how much stronger you are. i did nothing and you're better because of it. well if you want to take credit for other's strengths and improvements, then you also need to take ownership of their weaknesses and the role you played in their failures it helps me to talk it out, and learn from it # Monday, October 16, 2017 ( 1:33 PM ) shut up christine 1 year anniversary # |