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Tuesday, January 29, 2013 ( 2:18 PM ) shut up christine during my undergrad one of my friends was going to clean out his grandparents' home, since both of them had passed away so i went with him to help maybe you also know what it's like to go through someone's stuff after they have passed on his grandparents were world travelers and had accumulated a lifetime of souvenirs, trinkets, collectibles...stuff. so much of it there i was, a stranger, rapidly chucking their worldly belongings into 2 ginormous piles - trash or donation. we spent the whole day there and barely made a dent something about that experience really shook me all this STUFF you can't take it with you # Thursday, January 24, 2013 ( 11:27 PM ) shut up christine  during my walk today i kept looking around to check if there was someone in my vicinity because i kept smelling perfume. lovely. fresh and sweet but not fruity or floral. clean, like a bar of soap or laundry eventually i figured out it was coming from the ocean i go to the beach all the time and it has never smelled like this you know how they have scented candles named "sea breeze" or "blue ocean mist" or something... well i imagine it smells like that except it was real and it was everywhere i kept lifting my nose to drink up as much of it as i could what a gift! i hope i never forget it # Monday, January 21, 2013 ( 10:18 PM ) shut up christine
:)
this little creature brings me great joy also someone unexpectedly mailed me a package of homemade chocolate chip cookies. in the box was a smile card and a sweet anonymous note whoever you are, thank you so much # Wednesday, January 16, 2013 ( 2:35 AM ) shut up christine   how odd this is my handwriting but the content is alien holy moly i vaguely remember spdf notation also i re-read some of makoto's old emails to me (from almost 3 years ago) when we were just physio study buddies and we hadn't started dating yet I'm a little sad that the semester is over. You will probably forget about me now that we don't have class together. You did make going to school something I did not dread since I got to spend some time with a pretty gal with a nice heart. oh makoto. i still have a crush on you # Monday, January 14, 2013 ( 11:46 PM ) shut up christine what do you wish for? .JPG) .JPG) wishing fountain, chinatown los angeles # Saturday, January 12, 2013 ( 7:49 PM ) shut up christine i'm going to be real right now my dad and i just had a fight what's our deal? how come we cannot civilly converse with each other? why are we always fighting it's funny, in these moments we are exactly the same. explosive. stubborn. we mirror the same angry pink face. don't forget to breathe when you are yelling yo. i am my father's daughter this fight was about advance directives, which is a difficult topic, understandably. dad, do you have an advance directive? what's that? (not even two minutes later) you think you know shit because you went to nursing school? i said i don't want TO TALK ANYMORE *door slam* we don't communicate well, we never have. we don't listen to each other we don't have a relationship where i can come to you for advice or guidance we can't talk about anything significant without yelling so we are limited to how are you? good. and that's okay. each time we hold back an angry word instead of uttering it out loud, what fills that silent space? oddly i believe verbal restraint is how he and i best communicate our care for each other i'm not a great daughter you aren't a great father may we accept this and forgive each other for it # Thursday, January 10, 2013 ( 7:30 PM ) shut up christine 
another photograher snapped shots of makoto and sent them to us
makoto has noticed that at sunset there is often a small group of people behind him taking pictures.
he's too shy to turn around
ps today my sister and aldrich have been married four years. happy anniversary! # Monday, January 07, 2013 ( 5:09 AM ) shut up christine one quality makoto and i share is that we're kinda loners
we have our small groups of friends but we aren't good at initiating a get together or dialing a friend's number or inviting people over or keeping in touch. this is a terrible thing to admit but many times i'm relieved when plans to hang out with friends fall through :(
i suck, i'm sorry
anyway we're driving down venice blvd and i see a familiar face crossing the street and i excitedly blurt out hey that's my friend! should we pull over?
makoto also recognizes him and busts a u-turn without hesitation (uncharacteristic of us)
i didn't know his name but he lived on my street in my old neighborhood
literally on the street
every time i saw him he was walking somewhere with his shopping cart, collecting recyclables
a very nice man, he always smiled and nodded his head to say hello
we get out of our car to greet him
it's been 2 years since i lived on 23rd so i say you probably don't remember me but we used to be neighbors
he was still sweet as ever, still pushing his shopping cart, he had just come from the recycling center. always working hard
we chatted for a while and makoto offered him a jacket that we've kept in my trunk for months (had been saving it for another friend but we've yet to find him again)
in the wake of my cousin's tragic death, one thing that has helped me is doing nice things in his honor.
and spending time with friends is nice for the soul
also today Jan 7 marks one year since Pickles came into our lives. happy anniversary Pickles! thank you for being our friend
 Friday, January 04, 2013 ( 12:29 AM ) shut up christine i am angry, sad, confused, heartbroken. what do you do at times like this? what can you say? nothing really. please pray for my cousin and our families http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/50360079/ns/local_news-san_diego_ca/ # Wednesday, January 02, 2013 ( 11:43 PM ) shut up christine 
sweet lady at the beach approached us because she took photos of makoto & the sunset, and wanted to text them to us
thank you nice lady!
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( 1:36 AM ) shut up christine
both eyes open
photo via
a popular japanese new year tradition is the daruma doll, a symbol of perseverance and good luck. the doll comes with both eyes blank the recipient of the doll paints in one eye upon setting a goal, then the other upon fulfilling it darumas have a round shape and are weighted at the bottom in a way that it will always return to an upright position when tilted over. this characteristic has come to symbolize the ability to have success, overcome adversity, and recover from misfortune. due to this, daruma is often illustrated alongside the phrase "Nanakorobi Yaoki," translated to mean seven times down, eight times up. source i don't have a daruma doll but i drew one in my notebook and today i filled in one eyeball nanakorobi yaoki and may all your goals be realized this year (both eyes open) Tuesday, January 01, 2013 ( 12:46 PM ) shut up christine
happy new year! in the year ahead i wish heaps of blessings on you
i've had this handwritten note taped to my wall for the past two years. a lot of it was school-related, but still very relevant
plan of love. re-read this list often
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