| shut up christine | |
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Friday, November 30, 2007 ( 1:50 PM ) shut up christine its raining really hard right now and i look outside and see Gigi convulsing, she's so cold. she's also hella dramatic but anyway i feel bad for her so i get an old shirt and a towel, and i make a cape thing to keep her warm and i then i grab some of Nanet's socks and i cut them up into cute little leg warmers and when she's all dressed in her new gear, the first thing she does is run into the rain! her stupid cape is soaking wet and her stupid muddy legwarmers are sagging around her ankles and i'm watching her now and she's back in the patio there are a hundred dry spots but she goes and finds the biggest puddle and sits in the middle of it dumb dog. she never listens and now i am overcome with gratitude to my mother this is what raising me must feel like # Thursday, November 29, 2007 ( 2:07 AM ) shut up christine i believe i'm starting to genuinely care about someone maybe not in that way, i'm not sure yet but i know i would like him to be in my life for like, a long, long ass time. i can pinpoint it to the exact moment: we're sitting in the car i'm playing with a piece of lint from my scarf and i stick it in his arm hair he holds the lint in his palm for awhile then he eats it and i'm sold! i'm sold. my whole heart, for the stupidest reason in other news pictures from thanksgiving:          
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Friday, November 23, 2007 ( 5:05 PM ) shut up christine hehe # Wednesday, November 21, 2007 ( 12:47 AM ) shut up christine boo. i am always late. my resolution for 2008 is to be on time. i'm starting now so that maybe it will kick in by January 1. p.s. i love the words in this song. if i turn into another dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me sing this song remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone # Saturday, November 17, 2007 ( 2:29 AM ) shut up christine HOLY MOLY i am blessed. the universe has decided to shower me with gifts. i think i'm going to collapse from the weight yesterday i was manning a booth with Madhavi to spread the word about BTC. we were giving out Tsunamikas, which are these tiny hand-made dolls sewn together from scraps by women who survived the tsunami in India. People kept asking us how much they cost, and we kept saying freeeeee! a woman gets out her checkbook and we tell her we're not accepting donations today... she presses a $40 check into my hand anyway. * * * on thanksgiving we're preparing a meal for 200 people at a homeless center. for the last few weeks we've been trying to solicit ingredients and/or gift certificate donations from grocery stores, with very little luck. today, Trader Joes says they will give me about $30 worth of groceries. i walk down an aisle trying to figure out what to buy, and one of the store managers runs up to me with a cart. we start throwing things into the basket...what about this what about that do you want some of this? i say can i get corn? OK! and we practically fly thru the store like contestants in Supermarket Sweep. i look at our cart and i ask him is this too much? he says let's get more... when we get to the checkout i'm $20 over. i look at him and he says "good, girl" then he's gone! he zips off with the receipt, i barely have time to say thank you. * * * i'm looking for Thanksgiving decorations for the event, 99 cent store doesn't have much of a selection so i go with natural beauty: leaves and sticks. i drive around on random errands and all of a sudden it seems the streets are littered with orange and gold leaves! Even the trees give me gifts! on my way home i get out of my car to collect pinecones. * * * someone is not letting me pay. so when i go out to eat with BTC, magically my bill is paid. when i get to the counter, the cashier won't take my money. or the waitress tells me that an anonymous person has covered me. i know its Sukh!! I know its him, most of the time. but it still happens even when he's not there. speaking of, tonight sukh cut in front of me at the parking structure exit, then when i pulled up to the kiosk, the parking attendant smiled and told me to go through because sukh had paid my parking fee. do you see what i mean? all the time.... * * * i'm leaving for Sri Lanka next month... my mom doesn't approve, and occasionally she will let me hear it. when am i going to start working again? that's a popular question too although her words disapprove sometimes, at the end of the day her actions support me 100% and the reality is, i know that i would not be going, if not for my parents. i could not volunteer full time right now, if not for my parents. i know i'll have to go back to work eventually, but this time right now is a gift everyday is a gift and i am collapsing..... # Tuesday, November 13, 2007 ( 12:10 PM ) shut up christine a few of my favorites :) I was waiting for such a long time, she said. I thought you forgot. It's hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone. If you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you. I sometimes wake in the early morning & listen to the soft breathing of my children & I think to myself, this is one thing I will never regret & I carry that quiet with me all day long. There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good. You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time. They came to sit & dangle their feet off the edge of the world & after awhile they forgot everything but the good & true things they would do someday. I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who I am When I die, she said, I'm coming back as a tree with deep roots & I'll wave my leaves at the children every morning on their way to school & whisper tree songs at night in their dreams. Trees with deep roots know about the things children need. As long as the sun shall rise goes the old lovers vow. But we are children of a scientific age & have no time for poetry. Still, I offer a quiet prayer of thanks for the sunlight each time I see your face. Don't you hear it? she asked & I shook my head no & then she started to dance & suddenly there was music everywhere & it went on for a very long time & when I finally found words all I could say was thank you. I have to buy all my presents at the last minute, she said, or I get too excited & just give them away. In those days, we finally chose to walk like giants & hold the world in arms grown strong with love & there may be many things we forget in the days to come, but this will not be one of them. Sometimes I think I'm going to end up all alone in a cold apartment living on cat food from a can but I guess that's not so bad since I'm a cat after all. I didn't listen to her because she was my mother & wouldn't know anything until I was much older. from storypeople.com # Saturday, November 10, 2007 ( 2:41 AM ) shut up christine story time with nanet and aldy sooo i'm hanging out with nanet and aldrich in my sister's room and i see aldrich's score on his math midterm -- 95 out of 100, and that is one of the reasons why i hate (i mean that in the nicest way possible) aldrich but admire him at the same time actually, i really look up to him but damn. dammit! its like he can do anything. getting a masters in math....breezy he wants to have a six pack...i turn my head for one second and bam his body is cut. wth! lookin for a job....now he's a rocket scientist (and i am not exaggerating, he really is) did i mention he is also a DJ and a surfer? he is a surfing math-loving hip hop rocket scientist and i have never seen him lose his cool, raise his voice, or get stressed. he is thee most laidback person i know his style is......... effortless. DON'T YOU HATE THAT?! GAH because normal people like me, we struggle! normal people like me will do 900 crunches a day and our effing buddha bellies will get even bigger anyway, i had a point... we launched into a discussion about why we are the way we are, and what things/events in our lives shaped us into the people we are now once upon a time aldy procrastinated and got stressed and he said he would never, ever put himself in that kind of situation ever again. oh then combine that with his samurai-like discipline, determination, and focus (and intelligence + natural talent) = easy. freakin aldy my sis said she tries to be nice to other people because 17 or so yrs ago we took ballet & jazz classes at a studio, and she and her friend Melissa thought they were the shiz... they used to laugh and point their fingers at the girls who didn't dance well until the teacher pulled them aside after class and told them they weren't good dancers either. mmmhhmmm hahahahah moted, biatch! god. what would my story be? btw nanet has her own blog now # Monday, November 05, 2007 ( 1:10 PM ) shut up christine this past weekend at Lights On was kind of quiet only a few people were released but there were 2 people i got to spend a lot of time talking to one was a girl who spent a month in jail for missing a DUI meeting she spent those 30 days thinking and getting her life in order she's from san diego but she wants to come back to santa ana every weekend to give the girls in jail free color and cuts (she's a hair stylist) to make them feel pretty :) the kind of energy she gave off was so positive and wonderful...i am still smiling from it. when her ride picked her up, she even came back to give us food another guy stopped by the RV for some coffee, he was an older man who was released from jail a long time ago but lost everything while serving his time and has since been homeless. he talked about how both of his parents died while he was in prison and he couldn't do anything about it his advice: if you have a mother, tell her you love her!! the more he spoke, the more my heart broke...he was was the sweetest man ever but he'd been through so much he'd say stuff like i know it will get better. you guys are here with me tonight i'm so lucky! it goes both ways, we are so lucky to have each other # Sunday, November 04, 2007 ( 4:18 AM ) shut up christine hi mike you're my favorite stranger i'm glad you're still around p.s. cheers to twist-tie bags and tractor tires :) # Saturday, November 03, 2007 ( 12:08 AM ) shut up christine first of all, i know better than this i tell myself its not a problem if i only do it once (how many times have you said that this week?) except when i try nothing ever comes out then i get pissed at myself for trying to throw it up and even more pissed that i put myself in this position because i know better than this really look at the words you just wrote and try to understand what you are doing # Thursday, November 01, 2007 ( 10:30 PM ) shut up christine 100 everyday i miss him # ( 11:58 AM ) shut up christine we just had one of those exchanges where my voice shakes not because i'm going to cry but because i'm struggling so hard to keep my voice from raising over yours and we can point fingers but we're all at fault and i'll still listen to what you have to say because at least we are talking to each other, which is something we didn't do before and it feels good!! it feels good. thank you, for asking. i should say this to you in person instead of typing it out # |
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