| shut up christine | |
|
Thursday, September 27, 2012 ( 11:02 PM ) shut up christine it warms my heart that i can hear makoto smile over the phone as i tell him about my day he knows that i only slept a couple hours that my scrubs were ironed and folded on the nightstand that i overpacked my pocket protector thingy with a sharpie, a ballpoint pen, an inky pen, a pair of scissors, a penlight, some band aids, and alcohol pads that i made my breakfast ahead of time so i could leave extra early to be a medical volunteer i tell him on the phone that i spent the whole day checking patients' wristbands. can i see your wristband please? thank you i can hear him smiling and he's so encouraging and proud of my "good work" even if all i do is check wristbands and when i'm very tired, like today, i get body pains and when he comes home after work he puts salonpas patches all over my back these are small things that probably don't mean much to anyone else but this is why i keep falling in love with him over and over every day # Sunday, September 23, 2012 ( 10:18 PM ) shut up christine   the bunch on the right are dandelion leaves. have you had dandelion juice? i don't recommend it blech but it's supposed to be good for you. we mixed ours with spinach, kale, carrots, and a bit of whatever that is on the left side of the picture. had to throw in 4 small pears to counteract the bitterness
A natural diuretic, Dandelion Leaf is commonly used to help remove excess water and toxins from the body. Dandelion Leaf helps promote bile excretion from the liver so the body can more efficiently process foods and liquids while also purging harmful toxins. In addition, improved bile flow makes it possible for the body to better metabolize fat, which helps optimize the body’s cholesterol levels.
Dandelion Leaf is also effective at stimulating a sluggish gallbladder, which is responsible for storing and excreting bile as the body needs it. This natural herb is effective at promoting blood purity, which helps reduce the burden placed on the liver to filter out toxins. via
  oh pickles. she's angry in the first picture because we just gave her a bath. shortly after her bath she climbed on my desk and peed on my tote bag that had all my presentation materials for a workshop i'm facilitating tomorrow morning. i think she knew what she was doing. jerk # Thursday, September 20, 2012 ( 1:09 PM ) shut up christine i remembered a past dream, very suddenly, out of the blue
was a strange one- i was watching a boat race, one of the boats turned into a taxi and we drove around belize but it looked like thailand, and all of the hotels had greek names like alpha omega. i lost my purse
shortly after waking up that day, i tried very hard to recall this dream but couldn't for the life of me.
but then i remembered it a month later, so vividly
the dream itself is insignificant. but the fact that it came back makes me believe
that it was always buried somewhere in my mind, maybe i just couldn't get to it
anyway
last night i had a splitting headache
and call me crazy but i had the thought that something very deep was digging itself out
later that night
i thought about my grandma, my nanay, who lived with us until i was about 9 or 10 before she moved back to the philippines
she didn't speak any english so i couldn't talk to her
but sometimes i would sit in her room and we would color in coloring books
she chose weird colors, purple for skin, red for grass
without delving too deep into it, i remember that my parents often yelled at her
the dirty truth?
deep down i resent them for that
as a little kid i swore i would do the same -- yell at them at them when they were old and weak
i don't want to be like that
maybe i already am
#
Friday, September 14, 2012 ( 12:01 AM ) shut up christine i'm relieved that makoto and i know how to fight with each other i don't want to make it seem like we don't fight. oh, we fight but we almost never use profanities, we're big on "talking about our feelings" and we don't go to sleep angry. simple rules. that being said, these are common insults heard in our homestead "you are a bad person" for example: makoto: oops i ate the last cookie me: you're a bad person "you always ruin my life" me: should i buy this nutella? its on sale makoto: no, you don't need it me: you always ruin my life! "chimpanzee nipples" makoto: hi chimpanzee nipples "thirty six" me: but you're 36 years old makoto: nooooooooo "ploop" makoto: (taking a dump in the bathroom. makes a splash sound) me: ploop ploop makoto: stop!!!! (he gets really embarrassed when i do this. heheehee) "use your loofah" me: did you use your loofah? your neck is black makoto: you have chimpanzee nipples # Monday, September 10, 2012 ( 1:47 AM ) shut up christine i stopped by my parents' house again to pick up old btc files i'm sifting through a stack of papers that had been sitting on the upper left corner of my desk, practically untouched, for the last 2 years and then i find a white envelope with "CHRISTINE" written lightly across the front in blue ink what is this? aw crap. i'm reading your letter. i remember and it hurts even now. i would never admit that to you when we were broken to the point where we couldn't fix us anymore we drew a line and we split old and new love hate who we used to be and what we became after the line was drawn i miss you the truth is this is only a piece of paper # Saturday, September 08, 2012 ( 9:52 AM ) shut up christine i'm a bit tired this morning because i kept waking up from a repeating "nightmare" last night i dreamt of eyeshadows glittery bold colors packed on my eyelids i just felt... so embarrassed. embarrassment is a common theme in my dreams, i am realizing.
interpretation via
Makeup
To dream that you are applying makeup suggests that you are trying to cover up or conceal an aspect of yourself. Alternatively, it indicates that you are putting on your best face forward. You are trying to enhance your self-image and increase your sense of self-confidence. The dream may also be a metaphor that you need to "make up" with someone. It is time to forgive and forget.
To dream that
you are wearing too much makeup indicates that you are putting too much
emphasis on beauty and outside appearances rather than what is inside.
unrelated to nightmares... i told my sis that i had lunch at the veggie grill the other day she said she ate there once and really liked their chicken
i was like girrrrl you know it's fake chicken, right? everything is vegan.
she had no idea.
other than the name "the veggie grill" their labeling is quite subtle so i think a lot of people don't know they're not eating real meat or dairy.
locations in long beach, torrance, irvine, weho, the grove la... # Monday, September 03, 2012 ( 11:54 PM ) shut up christine
4:03 PM friend: how is everything?
still on the route to engagement......
4:04 PM me: we're good. no engagement at this moment but that has become less important to me now
friend: what do you mean?
4:05 PM me: in my mind i felt i needed an engagement to be sure that he would stay with me. i needed official validation
friend: i understand that
4:06 PM me: makoto rarely says i love you to me. he loves me so much, but he rarely says it. when he does say it, its after i ask him if he loves me
friend: TOTALLY understand that.
totally.
me: yeahhh. i don't think i need the formality as much anymore
4:07 PM i still want to be married but i'm not upset that he hasn't proposed yet...which i was before :)
friend: what changed?
4:09 PM
not sure what changed. i gave him an ultimatum a few months ago...can you believe that i actually said to him if you don't propose by august, i'll take that to mean that you're not sure if you love me/want to marry me
friend: i believe it and understand it
4:10 PM me: i had to work on my own issues with it. ask myself why i needed it so badly. i'm insecure in that way
4:11 PM friend: i would have never thought that about you. ever.
4:12 PM me: i am sooo insecure
4:13 PM but we are at a good place and i'm happy with it. i think i will start worrying if 2 or 3 more years pass and he still hasn't proposed but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it :)
4:14 PM friend: :)
insecure in general? or just relationships?
4:15 PM me: both. i am highly insecure. i think that's why i hate having my picture taken
4:16 PM friend: >: (
4:17 PM me: i gots issues!
friend: me too
4:18 PM me: don't we all
#
sometimes talking it out with a good friend is exactly what you need Sunday, September 02, 2012 ( 12:30 PM ) shut up christine  |
|
