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Tuesday, February 26, 2002 ( 4:15 AM ) shut up christine Sometimes when I'm sitting alone in class or in my room, I catch myself laughing. The tiniest things remind me of how lucky I am to have friends like you. special shoutout: Thanks Craig. High-five! Thanks for being so cool. # Monday, February 25, 2002 ( 2:33 AM ) shut up christine The Linkin Park concert rocked the freaken casbah. If you get the chance to see them in concert, go. Its completely worth it. Good stuff. Speaking of good stuff, I was at the mall and met a couple of really nice guys from a fairly new band called Count the Stars. They’re huge weezer fans too! Check them out at www.countthestars.com and if you like them, buy a cd from me. # Tuesday, February 12, 2002 ( 3:47 PM ) shut up christine Yet another valentine-less Valentine’s. Christine sat alone at her desk, typing busily away on her laptop keyboard. What could she possibly be doing? Writing an eight page paper? You could think that…but you would be so wrong. In reality, she was on ebay and had just typed the word “love” into the search box. Truly pathetic. “Stop this madness,” she said to herself. “You think you can buy love on ebay? Get a hold of yourself mon! It’s a beautiful day, go out for a walk.” So she went for a walk. Bad idea. In every conceivable direction, cutesie couples were skipping hand-in-hand through the daffodils. Barf-a-rama. “I need to get outta here!” and she ran to the crappiest place she could think of: the garbage dumpster behind the Commons. She huddled between a bag of stale bagels and a barrel of expired chicken-flavored oatmeal. “Nobody loves me,” she sobbed. Just then, a teeny tiny chickadee bird flew down and landed next to her shoe. “Ooooo, pretty bird pretty bird” Christine squealed with delight. She took one of the stale bagels and offered a small piece to the chickadee. “Will you be my Valentine?” she asked the little bird…and he bobbed his little head in agreement. So there she sat, tossing bagel crumbs here and there. After a while, another cute little bird came along, then another…….then 3 more…. then 15……. “HELP ME HELP ME! SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEE!” About 200 chickadees, crows, and pigeons had congregated around her…each one pecking furiously at her head. She thought she was going to die. “Good bye cruel world…..” “Hold on, I’m a’comin!” hollered a voice from behind the wall of feathers. Next thing she knew, Christine was lying in the arms of a strapping young man-fellow. “Are you okay hun? Don’t worry, you’re safe now.” “Jesus? Is that you Jesus?” Christine was bewildered/ecstatic because 1) Jesus was wearing a fannypack (Christine absolutely adores fannypacks…but why would Jesus need a fannypack?) and 2) Duuude, Jesus was a hottie. “I must be in heaven.” “Hahahaa, sorry hun, I’m not Jesus…and you’re still alive and well.” He reached into his fannypack, pulled out some Kleenex, and began to wipe the bird shiet off her face. “You… you saved my life,” Christine mumbled. “Fuhgeddaboudit sweetie. So why were you sitting in the dumpster by yourself?” She explained her story to this stranger…and they ended up talking for hours. Five hours later………. Christine: I’m so glad you’re a weezer fan too! Wow, we have so much in common. Did you know that today- Feb. 14, is the 10th anniversary of Weezer’s first rehearsal? The Guy: Yeah! Their first rehearsal was at TK studios in Los Angeles, wasn’t it? Christine: Boy, where you been all my life? Come to mama! * hot hot make-out session* THE END. Happy early Valentine’s Day y’all! # Monday, February 11, 2002 ( 1:40 AM ) shut up christine I have a feeling that today will be one of those crazy days where I’m stressed up the wazoo. I’m going to imagine that it’ll be a REALLY bad day knock on wood, so that when it turns out to be a not-so-bad-day, I’ll be glad that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Could that sentence be any longer? “F**K me! What time is it? WHAT TIME IS IT??” 3:28 pm...psychology midterm started freakin 28 minutes ago! Christine shot out of bed, grabbed a pencil, and bolted out the door…but dagnabbit! Hellz nah this cannot be happening…of all the days in the month why did she have to get her rag now??? “Come on, come on, come on” Christine tore open her underwear drawer but not a single clean pair of undies was in sight. “Oh great. Just grreat.” She fumbled through her laundry hamper and pulled out some week-old tighty-whities…or in this case, tighty-brownies. *Sniff sniff* Eeesh… these will just have to do. She turned it inside-out and yanked it on *Aiiyyyyyy! Too fast, too fast!*, slammed on a pad (with the wrapper still on), and charged down campus to the Engineering Lecture Hall. While cutting through Aldrich Park, the left rubber strap of her cheap-ass thong sandal disintegrated into powder so she ran barefoot until her big fat toe got caught in some gnarly tree roots and she fell flat on her face. “$*@!#%^&!!” She kicked the trunk with her other good foot but then doubled over in pain when she remembered she was wearing thong sandals. Uggh. Somehow she managed to hobble into ELH. The T.A. handed her a test form and said “Hurry up… you only have 8.45 minutes left.” “Thank you, thank you!” Christine plopped down into the nearest empty seat, pulled out a scantron sheet from her pajama pocket, and proceeded to answer the first test question. *Click. Click click. Click click click click* THERE WAS NO F-EN LEAD IN HER F-EN MECHANICAL PENCIL. In a weird miracle twist of fate, the dirt underneath her fingernails (from when she clawed her big toe free from the tree root) was EXACTLY the same shade of black as a number 2 pencil! Hallelujah!! Christine breezed thru the test with .11 seconds left to spare. BOOYAH! WHO’S YOUR DADDY? DIDN’T THINK I WOULD MAKE IT, DID YOU? With a huge smile on her face, she pranced up to the T.A. and handed in her scantron. “Sorry, your scantron is crumpled. We can’t accept this. AUTOMATIC FAIL. MUAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAA.” And Christine was so sad, even her boobs hurt. Holy caca it’s 1:40 am…I should be studying. Wish me luck! # |
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