shut up christine | |
Sunday, May 26, 2002 ( 7:04 PM ) shut up christine shit 9 months and i dont have any pictures of us together, no letters, no movie ticket stubs, no tangible evidence of us ever being together except this and a couple of saved aim conversations. you told me to delete it but I’m hiding it here in the back of my archives where nobody bothers to read so that in the future, if I ever forget what happened, I can come here and remember why you walked away and I know that sometimes words are misconstrued picked apart chewed up then spit out into something they were never meant to be which is what I hope happened here…I hope this was all a mistake, a horrible misunderstanding I’m going to pretend that the original message and meaning aren’t destroyed, but are instead floating around safely somewhere in space this post is yours, this is how i felt at one point in my life, regardless if you wanted it or not May 26, 2005 55 days: Jared goes to thailand for grad school.... hallo. there’s no way to really prepare myself for this so i will just let it happen on its own i’m not going to pretend that we’re the happiest strongest couple we have a bi-polar crazy cracked-out relationship and i could list 53.5 reasons why we suck at being together but we got this far so hi-five to us our relationship is like......if someone who hated running started training for a marathon... when they first start training, they can barely run a mile and they get short of breath and their muscles are sore but it gets easier and they fall into a comfortable rhythm and then the miles pass.. and some days they get shin splints but in the end all that cardio makes their heart stronger and healthier gahh I just compared you to shin splints. sorry. stupid metaphors what I mean is it was hard, but worth it and my heart feels the benefits anyhoo there’s a chance we might grow apart or outgrow each other whatever happens......thanks man i’m proud of you (he got a scholarship y'all!) and i will miss you and stuff. do yer thang homie homes oh in case you forget or if you are going through some rough times over there...know that you are loved i know what you’re gonna say yeah I know, but it’s the closest I’ve been commence puke fest I had more to say but these things are better said in person, no? claro claro this post is long enough and Jared is probably gagging..........or freaking out shit..cant turn back time, can't take back what was said, can't bring us back # Thursday, May 09, 2002 ( 1:01 AM ) shut up christine Every time I think about a bad joke, or you IM me, or we stay up late together in the kitchen...I wonder if I’m making a mistake. I hope it doesn’t seem like I made the decision out of nowhere or that I based my answer on the apartment situation…I don’t think you’ll ever know how hard it was for me to choose. Thanks for understanding, for being there, and for all the things you’ll have to change because of me. I’m looking forward to next year, and although I’m happy, I know what I’m leaving behind. I’m going to miss you. Thanks for everything, I love you guys. # |