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Tuesday, July 31, 2007 ( 6:55 PM ) shut up christine today i completed my goryo. girls in Gujarat do goryo (a type of fast) for five days, for five years, starting around the age of five. the purpose of this fast: to get a good husband (ha) 1. for six days i ate only fruits, nuts, milk, and potatoes. no salt. i followed this with zen-like focus. 2. with the exception of the first night (no meal), we are allowed to have one specially-prepared meal each evening, which i was never able to eat because of my schedule/ i didn't know how to prepare it. 3. in six days i had only one real meal (food other than fruits or nuts) and during this meal i broke the fast because i ate salt and vegetables (in my head this is okay because i did an extra day anyway). also, this night i had taken Sudi's parents out to dinner because they were leaving, and under the circumstances i think it was a very honorable reason to break fast considering how much i love them. 4. typical day's meal looked something like this: breakfast: mango lunch: couple bananas, a fried potato dinner: banana, plums 5. On Day 5 my roomies made a pot of macaroni and cheese and i remember at that moment i was so desperately hungry that i was literally angry. 6. On Day 6 (yesterday) I broke down and cried, which is embarrassing to admit but its the only way i can translate how difficult this was mentally and physically for me. 7. This morning, Day 7, Sunil took me to the temple so that i could do pooja (awesome) then we walked to the river so i could offer my grass to the water. that probably won't make sense but i will post pictures later. then i had a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and died. so good. 8. i am very proud of myself. :) 9. but more than that, when i was holding my diya (candle) in the temple with all the 5 yr old girls in ahmedabad i was thinking to myself man, i love my life. i believe with my whole heart that my. life. kicks. ass. anywho, the other day while studying gujarati i had a revelation and a veil was lifted from my eyes, my world has forever changed, and now i must relearn everything. i will share this knowledge with you now... i have a roommate named Deepti. Deepti, is not pronounced Deepti. The D is pronounced like the TH sound in the words thee or there, and the T is pronounced like the TH sound in thigh so her name actually sounds more like Theepthi. caraaaazy. last but not least, happy 26th birthday Nanerz. Tu nothi gadero che - You are not a donkey. i love you very much # Tuesday, July 24, 2007 ( 6:02 PM ) shut up christine shameless plug for the loves of my life this is incredibly important to me, it was the very first Be the Cause event I ever attended, it is the reason why i'm here in india, and the reason why i'm coming home in september i am telling you now so you can mark it into your calendars one of the quotes will be made by Manav Sadhna :) ps there is a homie looking over my shoulder reading all my emails and everything i have written. hello kem cho # Wednesday, July 18, 2007 ( 7:14 AM ) shut up christine i was invited to visit one of the street schools so we went to a part of the tekra i had never been to before on the way there, i saw something i wish i hadn't seen it wasn't bad, just odd. it was harmless, nothing could have happened or maybe i'm just telling myself that? i'm scared i may be denying it or playing it down in order to protect myself, but i hope that i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. i know there are two possibilities here: nothing happened...or it happened, and i did nothing i could defend myself and argue that it happened so fast and i didn't know what was going on, but then i'd be admitting that it did happen. i'm not sure that it did i don't know defect in vision it was so fast i must sound like a madwoman but i'm telling you this because i have to tell someone, and also to ask you to forgive me that in itself is crazy, i don't even know what i'm asking you to forgive me for. i'm not thinking clearly right now today i had meant to share so many thoughts its still a very happy day i celebrate another year of life its Aldrich's birthday too. happy birthday Aldy EDIT: so some time has passed since i initially wrote this. please don't worry, everything is okay. there is a tradition in india to force feed a person on their birthday... my stomach is going to explode. whoever from back home is responsible for telling, you are so going to get it. and kuo, i just read your blog. tamaru mo sunder che, always, even when you're not at the gym. i will tell you what that means when i get back. # Monday, July 16, 2007 ( 3:21 AM ) shut up christine how can i explain what i feel the best way to describe it is to compare it to this one chaotic intersection we have to cross on our way to the vegetable market, it's like trying to cross a road as wide as the 605 freeway and the cars are going so fast and there's never a large enough break in traffic to walk across... but the secret is to throw yourself into the traffic, literally wait for that speeding car/auto rickshaw/ motorbike to come then step directly in front of it, and once you take that first step, keep walking slowly and assertively until you get to the other side. it's crazy and goes against everything i was taught as a child but you have to trust that they will swerve around you and you won't get hit. (also don't take my word for it - i'm not liable if you do get hurt and remember this is a metaphor okay) its like every inhale i hold my breath, every exhale is a sigh of relief, and every thought is OMG!!!!!!! omg. know what i mean jelly beans anywho the other day i had a kind of heartbreaking conversation with Anchal about a woman's role - her responsibilities, her freedom - our stories are so different but we both struggle under the weight of other people's expectations and i will never forget what she said to me, that being lost should never be about someone else's disappointment instead i should see it as my own place of strength and power, it is a privilege to have so many choices when so many women have none and i should be lost for as long as i can, because i can. good advice # Friday, July 13, 2007 ( 9:11 PM ) shut up christine sexuality is repressed here. not that i am a huge hobag or anything (shut up) and in any case obviously its going to be very conservative here, considering i am staying at the Gandhi Ashram. we (females) can't wear shorts or revealing clothing (I wear Indian clothing anyway) can't stay out late (unless its for a service-related activity - volunteer house rule) can't hang our bras to dry on the clothesline in our backyard (too scandalous), can't give hugs to the opposite sex. i mean we could, but we don't. once at the Seva Cafe i said hello to Ragubhai and he leaned in for a hug (or so i thought) so i spread my arms which triggered this awkward 4 second dance... he moved back so i put my arms down really fast then i think he felt bad so he put his arms up and i followed, still no hug so i crossed my arms and eventually we shook hands. awkward hahah surprisingly, that has been the hardest part about adjusting here, at home i give hugs so freely to everyone and their mamas i didn't realize how natural and comforting it had become, especially in the months before i left when i was stressed from work and my family hugged me all the time. i miss that anyhow, i cannot believe one month has passed relief work went well and regular projects resumed after 2 days the rain has stopped for now and its back to being hot again cute story: lately i've been hanging out with Sudi's parents a lot, i had never met them before nor did i know they were going to be here, anyway one of their projects involves passing out potted Tulsi plants to homes in the Tekra as gifts (Tulsi is a holy plant) so when the Tekra flooded, a lot of homes were destroyed or damaged but the families protected their Tulsi...and when you walked through the Tekra you would see the Tulsi pots safely hanging in trees or on rooftops. so touching today i learned that my gujarati teacher has a slight lisp so we've been learning the wrong sounds. when i was practicing i think i sprained my tongue, or maybe its just sore the way your muscles hurt when you haven't worked out in a long time last but not least, my farts stink really bad. like wow # Tuesday, July 10, 2007 ( 9:37 AM ) shut up christine i want to say so much. the tekra flooded because of the monsoons sections of the slum are submerged in water and projects have shut down for the week so that staff members and volunteers can focus on relief efforts the speed and efficiency of the relief aid is pretty rad. good model for natural disasters i'm part of the childcare team, our job is to play games with the kids, cut their nails, comb their hair, bathe them if necessary, and distribute basic medicines during this time, manav sadhna will also provide food for many of the displaced families we have to cook for hundreds of people, 3 meals a day (and the pots we use to cook are ginormous, you could literally fit three people inside one pot) today i cut mountains of potatoes and onions, my dad would be so proud of me by the time i leave here i'm going to be a master potato cutter also my roommate Anchal is giving me cooking lessons so i can be a good indian wife ha :) i'm really learning to love cooking preparing food is such a labor of love, and eating makes people so happy today i looked up from cutting and everyone was crying because of the onions, it was the most beautiful thing :) anyhow, it has been and will be crazy for the next few days. we have to be extra cautious about our health during this time also i just want to say that i am surrounded by real life superheroes and i am completely in awe # Friday, July 06, 2007 ( 9:35 AM ) shut up christine just now sandeepbhai and i got pulled over on the way to this internet cafe, there are a milion people on the streets not wearing helmets either but for some reason we were the only ones ticketed i think it may have had something to do with me looking Nepalese, he kept telling the police i was american and they didn't believe him? i'm not sure what just happened fyi: if you cause a car accident in india, random people on the street will beat you up. jayeshbhai gave me my indian name - Ganga, which is the name of a holy river Marunam Ganga che i'm taking Gujarati lessons with sandeepbhai 5 days a week i'm learning the alphabet ands its kinda hard, V's are pronounced as W's, and D's are pronounced as R's but only sometimes a typical lesson sounds like this: sandeep: this letter is Ka me: Ka? sandeep: no. Ka me: Ka? sandeep: yes. good. next letter is Kha me: Ka sandeep: no me: Ka? sandeep: very good me: *confused* monsoon season is starting so the weather is cooling down sometimes when it rains its so muddy that i have to walk barefoot in the tekra (the slum is located on a piece of land called Ramapir No Tekra, so from now on when i write tekra i'm referring to the slum)and i'm kicking myself in the ass for not getting vaccinations before i left. also when my feet itch i am paranoid that i have hookworms eek heffrey what was that insurance website you told me about? a volunteer named Andrew is part of the Malaria Project, he distributes chlorine tablets and malaria pills to families in the tekra except he's really sick right now. i hope he doesn't have malaria but that would be kind of funny wouldn't it. ha oh this morning we went to a Laughing Club (frowning club for my friend Puneet because it was too early in the morning) anyhow it is the cutest thing ever a group of grandpas meets in a park at 5:45 every morning for 45 minutes and they yell "HEE HEE HO HO, HEE HEE HO HO" (there are arm movements also) and then you bend over and scoop your hands down then up toward the sky while laughing they also shouted things like "HIP HIP HOORAY!" and "MY MIND AND BODY ARE HEALTHY" and "I AM PERFECTLY ALRIGHT!" and then we did lots of body stretches and exercises with our eyes, one of the exercises is rolling your eyes in a circle. explaining it doesn't do it justice, i will have to host a laughing club when i go home i could see myself here for a long time. jayeshbhai said my soul is at home, i probably lived in india in a previous life. i agree happy birthday jessica hu # Monday, July 02, 2007 ( 8:44 AM ) shut up christine 6 bananas: 10 rupees = $0.25 US dinner at the restaurant behind our house: 15 rupees = $0.38 rent and utilities for the month: 450 rupees = $11.25 every week we have something called "Saturday Special" where kids from the slum can play and just be kids i was playing dodgeball with a group of little girls and Sunil (26 year old guy who works at Manav Sadhna) except whenever he got the ball he'd chuck it at their heads and they'd fall down and i could not stop laughing and that is why i'm going to hell. in other news, i'm editing a book on how to build 43289083 different kinds of toilets. the irony also i teach an art class 3 times a week, last week i had the kids cut out paper hearts to decorate and give to someone they love we asked a 10 year old boy named Vijay who he was going to give his heart to and he said himself, and the girl next to him said "of course, who else would he give it to" but after class he gave me his heart and i laminated it and yeah i just wanted to rub that in your face last but not least, i have no idea what i'm going to do when i get back but it doesn't matter, everyday i have a clearer vision of the kind of person i'd like to be, the things that are important to me, and how i want to spend my time i've made a bunch of little promises to myself, one of those is that i've decided i will definitely go back to school heffrey, in response to your email, i love it # |
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