| shut up christine | |
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Wednesday, January 24, 2018 ( 3:11 PM ) shut up christine another lesson from my fave. writing it here so i always remember a-fib is just smoke only becomes fire when it's fast (RVR) find the source of the fire and put it out 
via namcp.org
# Tuesday, January 23, 2018 ( 10:22 PM ) shut up christine i did something good
i reported two doctors for failing to do their jobs
a coworker told me not to, she was scared there would be repercussions for me (and maybe they could trace it back to her too) so instead of filing anonymously i signed my name
we had been fighting for two weeks to get a patient the treatment he needs
and today i got it for him
i'm really proud of myself today
:) Thursday, January 18, 2018 ( 12:01 PM ) shut up christine sometimes, the depth of my rage feels so limitless. so infinite and overwhelming last night my sister and i had an ugly fight that eventually turned into an amazing conversation that i didn't know i needed at one point in the conversation she apologized to me for not being a better older sister for not being that kind or nurturing to me when we were little at first i was like it's ok it wasn't that bad but tears came down i feel like i traveled back to a depth/time and cried with my younger self. hugged her and let her cry as much as she wanted is it possible to go back in time and heal old hurts? i believe so # Monday, January 15, 2018 ( 10:21 AM ) shut up christine  fave part: getting vegan ice cream after p.s. i kind of hate running p.p.s. 2 months until full LA marathon and i'm freaking the fuck out # Tuesday, January 09, 2018 ( 5:09 PM ) shut up christine 
i got fitted for new running shoes yesterday
my shoe size went up by 1.5 😬
i know you need to size up but damn.
this was the first and only pair the shoe whisperer showed me
they're plain blue, which is an improvement over my old shoes
my old shoes were obscene
hot pink and zebra
obscene
Toyo swears by hoka one ones. he overpronates like i do, so we need extra stability.
but look at this. why
why though??
i would like a minimalist inconspicuous unobtrusive comfortable running shoe in neutral colors designed for people with bunions and social phobia
People with social anxiety disorder usually experience significant emotional distress in the following situations:
if you happen to see me running on the street please do not look at me or my feet
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( 4:08 PM ) shut up christine  # Monday, January 08, 2018 ( 3:18 PM ) shut up christine   this book # ( 1:25 PM ) shut up christine
hygge
 this loose leaf earl grey tea from trader joe's is my all-time favorite. it smells so beautiful i infused my tea into a cup of warm almond milk with a teaspoon of honey and i am sitting on my balcony watching it drizzle outside the pretty ceramic travel mug on the right has a magnetic tea infuser attached to the bamboo cap, people at work always ask me where i got it (from SEED peoples market at the camp in costa mesa but you can also get it online here) simple glass mug and tea infuser are from ikea spoon is thrifted. random fact: i only use flatware with floral handles sandalwood candle burning in the background and i am so happy # Saturday, January 06, 2018 ( 8:29 AM ) shut up christine friday morning his name was still on the board he wasn't assigned to me but his daughter waved me down in the hallway and told me i'm glad you're here today she knew we watched his heart slow to a flatline we held his hands he passed at 11:05am # Friday, January 05, 2018 ( 1:29 AM ) shut up christine 2018 mantras: - GET IT - there is no shortcut. it takes time and work - prioritize mental and emotional health # Thursday, January 04, 2018 ( 4:55 PM ) shut up christine Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss? Romantically she decided that love must surely reside in the gap between desire and fulfillment, in the lack, not the contentment. Love was the ache, the anticipation, the retreat, everything around it but the emotion itself. -The Inheritance of Loss # ( 1:05 PM ) shut up christine  Wednesday, January 03, 2018 ( 11:43 AM ) shut up christine  one of my patients is about to die it shook me a little bit, the speed at which he declined just a few days ago he was joking and laughing with me i've never had the "not on my shift" mentality - i mean obviously do no harm but you can't save everyone sometimes all you can do is support them as they die be present for them and their families, as best as you can the trauma surgeons at our hospital (and maybe trauma surgeons in general?) are notoriously aloof they're like their own breed of aliens their social skills are shit i wonder if that's what happens to you when you've seen so many people die in front of you # Monday, January 01, 2018 ( 11:55 AM ) shut up christine 
happy new year!
i think i spent over 14 hours of december 31 deep cleaning my home
smudged with sage and copal as well
may all who pass through these doors be blessed and feel welcome
may this space and all of its contents be cleared of any stagnant, negative energy
may it be filled with a bright, peaceful, and positive light
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