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Friday, August 31, 2012 ( 7:52 AM ) shut up christine licensed today i am a registered nurse i'm so very happy couldn't have done this without the support of my family & friends # Tuesday, August 28, 2012 ( 9:09 PM ) shut up christine today we happily welcome into the world my baby nephew, noah i feel a special quietness come over me so much joy and gratitude for life # Monday, August 27, 2012 ( 8:01 AM ) shut up christine in this dream, i'm in high school. (not the high school i went to in real life) princess diana is coming to visit our school i've had stomach pains throughout various classes i'm sitting cross legged on the floor at lunchtime suddenly, i have the urge to use the bathroom and before i can get up, i've diarrhea-d myself i get up and run to the bathroom, diarrhea dripping down my legs (i'm wearing shorts) i lock myself in a bathroom and try to clean myself sometimes my stall only has three walls and everyone can see me my teachers (3 young cool guys) keep telling me to go back to class when i return to my class, they're sitting in chairs in a circle i tell the guy sitting next to me what happened and i'm crying he says we already know (apparently i diarrhea-d myself the last time princess diana came to our school) one of my teachers kneels in front of me, gives me a hug, and says it's okay it's okay he's wearing a black wool parka with a faux-fur trimmed hood it's thick and i bury my face in it interpretations via Diarrhea To dream that you have diarrhea signifies that some part of your life is going out of control. You can no longer contain your strong emotions and need to get it out of your system quickly. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have not analyzed a situation long enough or that you do not want to deal with the problem at all. Bathroom To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically. To dream that you are in a public restroom with no stalls or that there are a lot of people around while you are trying to do your business signifies your frustrations about getting enough privacy. You are always putting others ahead of your own needs. As a result, you are lacking a sense of personal space. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are having difficulties letting go of old emotions. You are afraid that if you reveal these feelings, then others around you will judge and criticize you. Classroom To dream that you are in a classroom indicates that you are learning an important life lesson. Alternatively, it symbolizes personal growth. You are learning something about yourself. # Sunday, August 26, 2012 ( 10:23 AM ) shut up christine phew test wasn't bad to celebrate i'm going to watch a Game of Thrones marathon # Thursday, August 23, 2012 ( 10:50 PM ) shut up christine 
this is Pickles after a hard night of partying
with her mascara all smeared
gettin cranky while waiting for her bacon-wrapped hot dog outside the club
persian kitties are high maintenance and you have to wipe their faces every day this pic was taken pre-wipe anyhoo the way pickles looks is how i feel hot mess hot mess i haven't changed out of my pajamas in 3 days i'm so nervous guys! my board exam is tomorrow ah mah gah why am i so nervous send me good juju please # Saturday, August 18, 2012 ( 6:25 PM ) shut up christine not sure why i always think about this. what makes some memories stick? 2006, nicaragua. i was with a local who had become my friend. it started raining, and i said esta llorando i meant to say lloviendo she said, you are right el cielo esta llorando the sky is crying # Friday, August 17, 2012 ( 12:39 PM ) shut up christine clutter is the symptom, hoarding is the disease -from an episode of hoarders i love this show (and other shows like it - animal hoarders, hoarding buried alive, clean house etc) because its like ohhh holy cannoli in one episode a family had spent years-- like, over a decade-- pooping into plastic bags and tossing them in a pile in a corner of the house after their toilet broke. cleaning crew discovered a MOUNTAIN of shit bags in the majority of these cases, the hoarding was precipitated by a painful and traumatic experience abusive father killed daughter's pets. when daughter is an adult, she keeps every stray animal she finds. woman has financial troubles, can't always afford to eat. when she gets back on her feet, she hoards groceries. her house is filled with rotting expired food, and she can't throw any of it away the point of me writing this is i am amazed how pain can manifest itself outside the body how has my pain affected the choices i've made, and the behavior i exhibit? how have i acted in ways that add to someone else's pain? how do i deal (consciously and subconsciously) with my own painful experiences? for one, this blog. this blog is my version of a shit bag mountain. i'm relieved no one really reads this # Wednesday, August 15, 2012 ( 8:08 PM ) shut up christine
pretty view from my desk
not so pretty view of my desk
also i had another dream. i was aware that i was dreaming. a man was on a tricycle or bicycle...some kind of cycle. he was traveling backwards, in slow motion via
Backward
To dream that you are walking or moving backwards indicates that your current course of action may be counter-productive. Whatever you are looking for in life seems to be moving away from you. Thus, you may feel a sense of failure or belief that you are unable to achieve your goals and aspirations. On the other hand, moving backwards in your dream indicate that you need to back off or retreat from a situation that you are currently facing in your waking life.
Tricycle
To see a tricycle in your dream symbolizes simplicity and a carefree nature. You are experiencing an alleviation from tension and stress.
Bicycle
To dream that you are riding a bicycle signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties about making it on your own.
To see a bicycle in your dream indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation.
Slow Motion
To dream that you are moving in slow motion suggests that you are feeling powerless, anxious or frustrated. You are currently going through a hard time in your waking life and experiencing tremendous stress, which is almost immobilizing you. Monday, August 13, 2012 ( 11:46 AM ) shut up christine the last two nights i've had strange dreams can't remember the first one. i told makoto about it when i woke up but now it's gone. last night i dreamt that 2 people were beating me with a belt this belt was composed of three smaller belts, so it was like a whip at one point i ran into a room, locked the door, then pushed all of my weight against it despite this, the knob turned slowly and they managed to open the door a crack do you believe in dream interpretation? via
Whip
To see a whip in
your dream signifies punishment, unhappiness shame and guilt. It may indicate
some abusive situation or unfortunate circumstance. Alternatively,
the whip means that you need to exercise more control over your life. You need
to have more discipline or be more obedient. The dream also may be a metaphor
for something that you need to "whip" up.
To
see a belt in your dream signifies a constricted flow of life energy and issues
of morality. You may be feeling conflicted between what you think (your
intellectual reasoning) and what you feel (your instinctual nature).
Alternatively, a belt may symbolize punishment and discipline.Belt Door
To dream that the door is closed or locked signifies opportunities that
are denied and not available to you or that you have missed out on.
Something or someone is blocking your progress. It also symbolizes the
ending of a phase or project. In particular, if you are outside the
locked door, then it suggests that you have anti-social tendencies. If
you are inside the locked door, then it represents harsh lessons that
need to be learned.
To dream that you are locking the door suggests that you are closing
yourself off from others. You are hesitant in letting others in and
revealing your feelings. It is indicative of some fear and low
self-worth.
# Saturday, August 11, 2012 ( 3:40 PM ) shut up christine holy, i am experiencing extremes of emotion these days this ad made me laugh til my stomach hurt  this (ten minute!!) song made me cry. tears rolllllling. something about it restores my faith in humanity in other news, makoto and i are okay # Tuesday, August 07, 2012 ( 11:38 AM ) shut up christine tipping oh dear in a dramatic twist of events that i will totally regret writing i think makoto has broken up with me unfortunately i do not have adequate time or mental energy to fully process it right now my test date is fast approaching and i must spend what little brainpower i have reviewing the cranial nerves at this moment, i am perfectly balanced on a fence one step and i could tip toward one kind of life or fall to the other side either way # Monday, August 06, 2012 ( 10:49 AM ) shut up christine self immolation  i don't know if this photograph has been altered i don't know this man's name his face is being eaten by flames a recurring theme in difficult times is to set myself on fire (not literally) take hold of the issue. face it, burn it sit with the pain as it burns away some fires last a long time i don't know who this man is he has no special powers. just human no more human than you or me # Sunday, August 05, 2012 ( 10:50 PM ) shut up christine vanity several times in my life i've considered shaving my head or eyebrows off my logic -- a strange attempt to find inner beauty i never went through with it though possibly due to my failed resolve, or a fear that i would do it and still not find it sometimes i wish i was blind knock on wood then it wouldn't matter what we looked like and i could focus on more important things we're all a little crazy, no? # Friday, August 03, 2012 ( 2:08 PM ) shut up christine crazy talk in psych, there is a cognitive impairment called delusions of reference, in which a person strongly believes random events, objects, remarks, behaviors etc (ie TV broadcasts, newspaper articles, music) have a particular and unusual significance to oneself/ are interpreted as related to oneself maybe i clinically have delusions of reference, maybe i just think too much. this may be one of the reasons why i can't handle scary movies...because i take them personally. i don't just watch, i experience it, in a way. i become emotionally invested in too many things still with me? crazy lady? for example - take this olympic boxing match between Satoshi Shimizu and Magomed Abdulhamidov did you watch it? i'll wait. okay, your thoughts? for one, i don't care much for boxing. not a big fan. at the end of the clip the commentator says "everybody here should look at themselves and realize why this sport is considered a joke" yes, look at yourself. this whatever boxing clip sends me spinning into confusion and introspection what else is a joke? what is real? no really? what's being fed to me? is everything subjective, even what i believe to be real? aren't beliefs inherently subjective? (omg!!) what do i believe then? at the level of the olympic games, you would expect things to be fair. what else is unfair? what do i expect? who and what can we trust? i can't even trust myself because i've believed things with all of my being and i have been wrong there i go again with my subjective beliefs this goes on and on, my friends.... i'm having a full on identity crisis because of a boxing clip carry on # Thursday, August 02, 2012 ( 2:12 PM ) shut up christine  # |
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