shut up christine | |
Friday, September 30, 2011 ( 12:19 PM ) shut up christine harolds-planet.blogspot.com survived this crazy week now only have to write five assignments and two papers by sunday. in the words of one of our schizophrenic mental patients, this shit is ridiculous amen. i punched a wall the other day actually i only used the pad of my fist, but it was quite late at night and i am somewhat considerate so i beat up our memory foam mattress topper instead. poor thing ineffective coping related to multiple stressors manifested by going apeshit on bedding materials i need to take better care of myself and i will start right now by taking a nap and for makoto, because he helps me keep my sanity # Friday, September 23, 2011 ( 8:53 AM ) shut up christine my classmate texted me at 6:45am to ask questions about homework (not due today) next week we have exams in med-surg, pharmacology, and mental health i think we're all a i just want to take a 3 minute study break to thank makoto who wakes me at 1am to study... and then again at 2am because of course i never get up the first time... and for driving me to school at 6:15am on tuesdays because it's street cleaning day and it's hard to find parking and i can't parallel park in those tight spaces... and for washing the dishes at night... and for all the little things he does to keep my world flowing and my classmates i see your peanut-allergy-like faces swollen with sleep deprivation in the mornings and it fills my heart there are moments when i ask myself whyyyyyyy why did we choose to do this to ourselves, to pack three years into one. masochists a year of late nights and early mornings and sometimes no sleep in between to learn how to take care of other people you have all my respect # Wednesday, September 21, 2011 ( 2:02 PM ) shut up christine i want fried chicken recently it dawned on me that i crave popeyes or kfc when i'm super stressed two years ago i ate a whole bucket of chicken in one sitting and a rash broke out on my face. that was the last time i ate meat i need to find a non-chicken stress reliever # Wednesday, September 14, 2011 ( 9:32 AM ) shut up christine i crashed hard around 8pm last night makoto tried to wake me up at 9:30pm to take my meds i think i yelled and said a bunch of bad crap to him when i woke up this morning, he was upset with me i don't remember what i said to him last night, i don't remember any of it but before i went to sleep i had been studying psychoses, hallucinations its all very strange. i'm not sure if i am dreaming this is weird. # Saturday, September 03, 2011 ( 7:03 PM ) shut up christine today a patient coded there were over 20 people in that little hospital room i stood to the side silently observing the controlled chaos it's a violent process i meditated with my eyes open she didn't make it. this was my first time watching a patient die in front of me i never saw her face but i will never forget her. it helps me to write it out # |