| shut up christine | |
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Saturday, October 25, 2003 ( 3:03 AM ) shut up christine Typical conversation at the Bulaoro household: Mom: Come here, Kita. Are you sexually active? (pronounced sek-sooolly akteeb) Me: Mama, I’ve never even had a boyfriend… Mom: It’s okay. You know what, there’s nothing wrong with that. You can be the last girl on Earth without a boyfriend and there is nothing wrong with that. You can be forty years old… Me: Hey ma what are you trying to say....... Nanet: She doesn’t have a boyfriend because I put a curse on her. Mom: Nanet, why did you do that? That’s wrong *frownie face* Nanet: Because she was being mean to me, so I prayed and prayed and prayed that she would never find a husband. Mom: You have to undo it! Nanet: I know…Dad told me to reverse the curse and light candles. Me: *speechless* Yup...I am definitely the normal one. # Saturday, October 18, 2003 ( 6:02 PM ) shut up christine When I go home later on today, I’m going to open the garage and my dad will come out before the garage door’s all the way up. He’ll open my trunk and carry my bag of laundry for me. He’ll say “How was the drive, Kita? How come you're not calling home?” He always adds that extra –a to the end of Kit. I’ll say “I drove on the freeway and I didn’t get scared this time” and he’ll give me a hug and kiss my forehead. My dad is forty years older than me. He dances when I’m watching MTV. He cries at sad movies, like Bambi. He even cries during commercials, and I’ll laugh at him and say “Are you cryyyying, dad??” He’ll say “No I’m not!!” and he’ll wipe his eyes and pretend like he wasn’t. Me and my dad used to fight a lot, but not anymore. I have my dad’s legs, his oily skin, his angular jaw, his tongue, and his bowel movements. I love my dad. My mama won't be home because she just called right now to say she loves me but she’s leaving for work now so she won’t get to see me. My mom is a nurse and she works the night shift at two different hospitals. My mom is superwoman. My mom is my hero. At my age she was on her own, supporting herself. My mom is emotional like me, and she cries a lot. Me and my sister joke around saying “Aww Mama, don’t cry…have you been taking your menopause medicine?” And she’ll laugh at us and pretend to pout, but sometimes I wonder why she’s really crying. I have my mom’s temper, her smile, and her pinky toes. Both of us don’t have any toenails on our pinkies. When my mom is home, she likes to hug me and hold me like a baby, even though I’m taller than her. I love my mom. My sister will probably be out with her boyfriend. They’ve been together for three or four years. I hope someday I find what they have. My sis works now and she says she’s going to spoil me when she gets paid because I bought her expensive sunglasses. My sister is the pretty one. She’s loud and funny and talkative…and I’m not. We’re complete opposites. Her mouth is always open and she’s always singing in the car or making some other type of noise and she gives me headaches. I would be lost without her. When we were small, she’d tell me if I had boogers, and I always had boogers back then…the floatie kind that swing in and out when you breathe thru your nose. I was such a big dork in elementary school. I still am, but because of my sis I can laugh at myself now. When I get home we’ll probably hang out at the mall like we always do, or play with the seven new puppies. I love my sis. Mi familia is cooler than a pot of cool beans. Time to go home :) # Monday, October 13, 2003 ( 4:21 AM ) shut up christine I went skating last night and he came out of his house again… so this time I said “tonight’s the night,” stuck my chest out, and when I passed him I jiggled dem boobies like I’ve never jiggled before. Okay not really. I just skated by with my eyes down like I always do. But I did smell his sweet man scent as he drove away. Mmmmman scent. The new neighbors on the other side of my house are moving in next week. They’re the 5th family to move into that house since we’ve been here…I wonder how long they’ll stay before we drive them out. In other news, I watched my first hardcore porn. My prof showed it in lecture…I want to do well in that class so I’m planning to do A LOT more “studying” hehh. What else…I’ve been working out at the arc lately, but one of my worst nightmares came true while I was there..I really had to go pee but I guess I didn’t pull my underwear all the way down so I peed my pants…and I had to throw my favorite pair of undies away :(. I didn’t want to leave them there in the stall but I couldn’t walk around the arc with a wet panty in my pocket. This particular pair of underwear looked like little boy underoos with blue sheep all over and I got it on clearance at Ross because it had defects so it was truly one of a kind…my juan-in-a-million and I’ll never find another pair like it. I think I’ll go back tonight and see if I can find it in the trash…but then again I threw it away in the tampon receptacle hmm…. While we’re on the subject of bodily excrements, today my sister told me that she took pictures of my poop a while back so she could show her friends. Apparently they don’t believe the majestic enormity of my poopitypoo. I don’t know why I’m writing all this stuff down… most of my friends ran away from here a long time ago. I think I even scared away that Canadian stranger guy from my other post…are you here Canadian guy? Aww man I didn’t mean to scare him away. That’s too bad, cuz I really like Canada. p.s. my dad voted for Gary Coleman # |
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