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Monday, June 27, 2011 ( 11:58 PM ) shut up christine m and i spent the last week getting settled into our new place. the carpet in our bedroom has a slightly dirty crunchy feel to it so m borrowed a vacuum from his parents house. it no worky... so then i borrow a shop vac from my dad (it's not a standing vacuum, it only has a hose and small hand attachment) i crawl around on the floor, vacuuming inch by inch, and he follows behind carrying the shop vac. teamwork! it takes us about 30 minutes to finish i step out for a minute to get water when i come back - i notice a cloud hovering in the middle of our bedroom! stinkin shop vac blew all the dust and then some back into the air m's eyes are hella itchy and since he was holding the shop vac the whole time, his shirt is brown where the vacuum air blew back on him ha! we run into the living room coughing and laughing and rubbing our eyes and now we are eating ice cream # Tuesday, June 21, 2011 ( 10:38 PM ) shut up christine  harolds-planet.blogspot.com # ( 9:20 PM ) shut up christine going back when i'm sitting in traffic (which is pretty often) my mind consistently wanders back to one distant memory i think we were in highschool maybe, i think my sister was driving her dark green 4runner we were waiting at a red light and an elderly man was trying to cross the street he was too slow so he'd get a little less than halfway down the crosswalk but the STOP hand would start flashing, so he'd turn back. i don't know how many times he tried, i only watched him for about 40 seconds or however long stoplights last our light turned green and we left i think someone said should we go back and help him? i think we joked that if we came back five hours later, he might still be on that same street corner... but we could've circled back, we could've gotten out of the car and held up our hands to oncoming traffic as we helped him walk across why didn't we? i think about it all the time # ( 1:17 AM ) shut up christine in the coming week i am packing up my old apartment, moving in with makoto, facilitating my first chronic disease workshop with melisa, and going back to nursing school after a six month hiatus there's a lot goin on! i'm sitting on a pile of cardboard boxes, deciding what to keep and what to leave behind i feel like i'm starting over and it's an incredible feeling like scrooge getting his second chance anyway i also want to say how grateful i am to have a home. not "home" as in a sentimental sense of belonging, but a physical space where i can sleep and live and drink orange juice. it's wonderful, you know? to have a key in your pocket. i take this for granted too often # Thursday, June 16, 2011 ( 12:41 PM ) shut up christine  on my first 10-day meditation course i started off with five or six cushions three under my butt one or two under each knee it wasn't until the end of my second course hundreds of hours of sitting later that i figured out just one cushion was best for me anything more detracted and distracted you would think a lesson so simple would be easy to apply to one's life # Saturday, June 11, 2011 ( 1:33 PM ) shut up christine makeshift mourning a while back i mentioned an elderly patient who had hurled a milk carton at me (no harm done) although his mental state was unpredictable & deteriorating i had cared for him for several weeks, and i developed a connection with him even though he could never remember my face or name i came back after a weekend to find another patient occupying his bed it happens all the time i didn't ask just went back to work, like nothing happened yes, maybe he went home it helps me to write it out # Tuesday, June 07, 2011 ( 12:52 PM ) shut up christine  kid at heart btw he totally lied about his age when we first met i've only had a handful of significant others in my lifetime. when i was alone, which was most of the time, i imagined how a relationship might be. if i had a boyfriend, these are the things i would love to do together, this is how i would treat him, we would be committed and honest and communicate and be of service to each other and treat one another with mutual respect and love. ha! hhahahhaha! after a couple damaging relationships i was a little angry and a lot insecure cue m's entrance and i began to see the possibility of how good life can be when there is laughter and respect and love even if we don't work out in the long run (knock on wood) i am so grateful for the kindness you have shown me and i hold you in my heart # Monday, June 06, 2011 ( 11:32 PM ) shut up christine m and i are planning to move in together next month (i know!!) we spent the day looking for apartments and found a potential home in the historic west adams district  just when we finish scoping the place, a woman in the adjacent complex calls me over and tells me that she saw me put my laptop in my trunk (i was carrying it in my bag and didn't want to lug it around)she whispers to me (because she knows people are watching us) that you can't do stuff like that around here or you're just asking for it... then she tells me how this street is where the Bloods and Crips and crackheads are, and it's generally a shitty street to live on totally appreciate her looking out for us oh los angeles. i hope we find a home soon # Sunday, June 05, 2011 ( 9:21 PM ) shut up christine "you will get the hang of it, i know it!" thanks, little guy # Saturday, June 04, 2011 ( 12:49 PM ) shut up christine today i attempted to start the Insanity workout but i turned the DVD off halfway through yikes the guy on screen keeps yelling at me to push through it and i'm like nope nope nope i would rather run 12 miles in the middle of suicide drills, a moment of clarity my weakness is so apparent getting stronger sucks. it hurts, both physically and mentally but there's no other way # Thursday, June 02, 2011 ( 1:11 PM ) shut up christine      |
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