| shut up christine | |
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Monday, November 27, 2017 ( 8:28 AM ) shut up christine
pack it up papa
 it's okay i asked makoto to help me return all the doggie stuff i bought online i was at work when he was packing the return shipments and he texted me this pic of Pickles supervising # Tuesday, November 21, 2017 ( 10:26 PM ) shut up christine touche, universe today i had a difficult, belligerent patient refused everything, pulled out his lines, security was called multiple times by the previous nurse i tried to prepare myself. saved him for last after he cussed me out i told him you're in a hospital not a hotel and if you don't want treatment you can leave he said he was going to kill me and i yelled "DO IT" i felt bad not for him but because i lost control i judge my mother so harshly but i do the same shit everything i hate is mirrored in myself yesterday i preached how better-than-thou i was when will you understand that you are exactly like her # Monday, November 20, 2017 ( 8:46 AM ) shut up christine i woke up this morning angry can i tell you? because i can't tell her now i was already in 3rd or 4th grade maybe? i had been taking piano lessons for years, but i still sucked. i remember it was around christmas time because i was learning christmas songs after my lesson my piano teacher and my mom had a long talk at the front door, probably talking about how bad i was at piano afterward my mom shut the door and beat the shit out of me i remember it as one of the worst, maybe because it lasted so long? also because my mom always ran her mouth, screaming while belt whipping you then she made me practice piano for hours and i wasn't allowed to cry i hate you for that for all the times you lost control. for your violence for being so embarrassed about what someone else thought about me that you abused me physically and mentally "for my own good" your fucking ego. you hurt me, mama i am 34 years old now and i have not forgotten this # Thursday, November 16, 2017 ( 9:51 AM ) shut up christine  there is an application process w/ multiple families in the running but i bought a play pen and toys and treats in case we are chosen. almost bought a doggie stroller but i stopped myself i think we will find out this week? even if we aren't chosen at least i know she'll be going to a good home # ( 9:15 AM ) shut up christine
my default pattern is to hold it in. keep your head down and be quiet. let it work itself out. meditate, control how you react. write about it if you need to. let it build and fester until you get a rash on your arm or explode
but lately i have been speaking my mind
calling out crap when it happens
confrontation, i guess (i've always hated confrontation)
but i try to do it as thoughtfully as i can
yesterday i witnessed a patient's family member screaming and verbally abusing my coworkers
one coworker was in tears, the other had to step away
a few minutes later i approached that family member (who also happens to be a registered nurse)
and i firmly addressed her allegations/issues as best as i could but i also told her that what i witnessed earlier in the hallway was unacceptable, and as a fellow nurse, i was embarrassed for her and the way she acted
i literally said that to her face. me
there was some other drama at work, shit talking and such. and instead of trying to ignore it i just asked her about it upfront and i think it caught her off guard. good conversation.
i'm not in high school anymore, ya know? too old for this
people thought i was mute for so much of my life
not anymore
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Tuesday, November 14, 2017 ( 1:36 PM ) shut up christine  and got rid of disposable dryer sheets. i now use wool dryer balls with a few drops of lavender oil sprinkled on them. smells amazing also i have not ironed/steamed my scrubs for a year. i just throw them in the dryer for a few minutes while i'm getting ready for work there was no point to this except to talk about laundry :) # Friday, November 10, 2017 ( 11:26 PM ) shut up christine home slice november edition 
that plant tho. and it's real!
(my) favorite toy
lying on carpet looking up
tree is up...too early?
tv stand rock garden
more rocks next to DVDs i still need to watch
close up of tiny points
lucky charms
souvenir from marie
yummy gifts from toyo's trip to japan
# Friday, November 03, 2017 ( 12:00 AM ) shut up christine  currently... - training for 2018 LA marathon. other aspects of training include trying to eat vegetarian (still eating a lot of fish though) and taking a crap ton of vitamins (vitamin D, vitamin B, wheat grass, amazing grass green superfood, magnesium). vitamin D y'all! i did 8 miles today and my shirt was soaked. i want future me to remember how hard i worked, the hours and sweat it took to get me here. don't be scared, you got this - beginning a practice of dostadning, or Swedish death cleaning. i think about this every time i want to buy something. game changer - float tank therapy, aka deprivation tanks or isolation tanks. basically you float butt naked for 60-90 min in complete darkness in 12 inches of water with 800 lbs of epsom salts dissolved in it. multiple benefits such as stress reduction, pain relief, decrease in inflammation all of these things -- exercise, healthy eating, vitamin supplementation, journaling, stress reduction, & meditation -- all are complementary therapies for improving my mental well-being. and its working light at the end of the tunnel i am in a better place # |
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