was a strange one- i was watching a boat race, one of the boats turned into a taxi and we drove around belize but it looked like thailand, and all of the hotels had greek names like alpha omega.  i lost my purse

shortly after waking up that day, i tried very hard to recall this dream but couldn't for the life of me.

but then i remembered it a month later, so vividly

the dream itself is insignificant.  but the fact that it came back makes me believe

that it was always buried somewhere in my mind, maybe i just couldn't get to it

anyway

last night i had a splitting headache

and call me crazy but i had the thought that something very deep was digging itself out

later that night

i thought about my grandma, my nanay, who lived with us until i was about 9 or 10 before she moved back to the philippines

she didn't speak any english so i couldn't talk to her

but sometimes i would sit in her room and we would color in coloring books

she chose weird colors, purple for skin, red for grass

without delving too deep into it, i remember that my parents often yelled at her

the dirty truth?

deep down i resent them for that

as a little kid i swore i would do the same -- yell at them at them when they were old and weak

i don't want to be like that

maybe i already am