shut up christine | |
Tuesday, December 02, 2003 ( 5:45 AM ) shut up christine I’m sorry, this just isn’t working out…I don’t think we’re right for each other…it’s not you, it’s me…but I still want to be friends okay? That’s what he said. Or that’s what he might have said, maybe if we knew each other, and maybe if we had been going out. But we don’t, and we’re not. So this is my official imaginary breakup with a complete stranger that I’ve had a crush on for the past 18 months. It’s easier for me to get over someone when I have closure. I can picture myself 10 years from now, looking thru my archives, finding this piece of crap entry, and thinking, “Why did I waste 18 months of my life lusting after some stupid guy that I didn’t know? And why couldn’t I grow some balls and introduce myself? Imaginary boyfriends? Imaginary closure? Pathetic pathetic pathetic” Well fuck you, future Christine! I just cussed myself out. Anywayyyyy I’d like to tell future Christine that yes this may seem silly and stupid now, but at the time it was actually pretty sad. Because breaking up is hard to do, but letting go is even harder, and letting go of something that was never really there might be the hardest of all, especially if you’ve spent 18 months convincing yourself otherwise, nah’ mean? But it's excruciatingly hard if you hear Eminem rapping in the background every time you see him. I think my problem is that I would rather crush on someone than be crushed by someone. Crush or be crushed. It’s easier to think happy thoughts, even if that means that at the end of the day, the cheese stands alone. *Enter stage left the artist formerly known as Prince, cue music* This is what it sounds like when doves cry…doves cry….doves cry Eek one last thing before I let him go for good… I’m going to say this here because I couldn’t do it in person, and there’s a .0000000001 in a gazillion chance that he’ll randomly come across this page, but .0000000001 in a gazillion is better than nothing So if your name is Carlos, and you live on Eloise St, and you drive a black truck… I’ve been meaning to say something to you I just wanted to say hello Peace out. #
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