| shut up christine | |
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Wednesday, May 05, 2004 ( 4:52 AM ) shut up christine Forgot to mention in my last post that I have a boyfriend now :) If you think his face is hot you should see his ass hahaha. ha too bad Tracy, Jess, and Flo don’t approve (player haters) but anyway, I talked to my Dad and he told me the story of how he and my Mom met slash fell in love. It’s a really cute story and involves diarrhea (ohhhhh Dad--such a dork). My Dad is going to kill me if he ever found out I said this…but back in the prehistoric era when my parents were only dating, Dad used to drive to the Bronx to pick up Mom from work everyday, and if he was late my Mom would just leave because she’s badass like that and she don’t wait for no one… So one day little Cesar (insert pizza jokes here) is driving his blue Camaro to pick up little Nida from work when all of a sudden he gets a humongo ginormous stomach ache…...but he keeps on trucking because he knows that if he stops, he’ll be late and Nida will leave. To make a long story short, Cesar’s stomach ache turned out to be a case of explosive diarrhea…yes folks, my Dad done did diarrhea in his shiny blue camaro….and kept driving!! What a trooper. Can you imagine the look on my Mom’s face? Hahaha I bet he was all trying to play it off like a cool guy... later my Mom told me that she had to help him wash crapola off his pants and seat covers…now that is what you call love. I took two things away from this story: #1. How romantic!! I wish I had a guy who would crap his pants for me… okayyy and I’m over it #2. My parents are cool. Really. Their love is like whoa…and when I look at them I feel hopeful, even though I am “cold and heartless and incapable of loving another,” yes thank my sister for that lovely quote. I’m hopeful because they were old fogies when they started going out... by the time I was born my Dad was already 40, and my Mom was practically menopausing when I was conceived jk she was 36 which is pretty old to be having kids…but the important thing is that they waited allll those years until they found each other, and then it was like…whoa. Good things come to those who wait, like me for example :). I was created from an old egg and an old spermie, and my Mom’s sagging boobies ran out of milk after a day, but I turned out pretty normal, right? That was a hypothetical question, Jessica Hu! >:( I only have minor deformities. Blahblah Lesson of the Day: listen to your parents and be patient, Grasshopper...... # |
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