| shut up christine | |
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Friday, July 02, 2004 ( 6:06 AM ) shut up christine Its because I didn’t get any breast milk when I was a baby, isn’t it because my mouth was too small to fit over my mom’s nipulars that’s what my dad said and then the milk dried up so I barely got any of the vitamins or hormones or whatever’s supposed to be in breast milk that must be why and I’m going to keep telling myself that because it makes me feel better when I look at pictures of the two of us and get jealous I hate it stop it why do I do this its not her fault that her teeth are straight and I have a gap or that she has 20/20 vision and I have three kinds of tape holding my eyeglasses together or that she doesn’t need to brush her hair ever because it straightens out perfectly on its own when my hair frizzes even when I brush it its not her fault that her legs and butt got all toned up even though she’s only been running for a couple months but I’ve been skating for three years and all I have to show for it is a right thigh that’s 1 ¾ inches bigger than my left and some calluses yeah so sexy dammit I’m trying to not let it bother me even when people come into my room and see my stuff hanging there on my wall and yet still say ‘oooh I didn’t know Janet was prom queen’ its not like they would've believed me anyway that happened years ago so why am I still thinking about it at fucking 6 in the morning and why am I letting something so petty bother me so I set goals for myself and make promises that I’m going to drop some weight and clear up my skin and maybe pick up some nice clothes like hers because I really like her clothes she looks so professional and put together all the time but somehow I know it already even if I try really hard I’m never going to fit in size six stilettos with my big ass feet I don’t want a reaction don’t say anything at all I’m just having one of those days where I need to let it out and let it go Okay that’s all goodnight. #
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