| shut up christine | |
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Tuesday, June 06, 2006 ( 1:25 PM ) shut up christine it's hurricane season now so there aren't many tourists in the town we're in I've noticed that sometimes when people are speaking Creole, certain words and syllables are spoken louder than others, like WHAT are you doIN? and I realize if I had tried to say that out loud it would be a really bad impersonation so nevermind. The past few days have been quiet, Lo and I pick a spot on the beach under a palm tree and we read a new book every two days, it's hard finding used bookstores in these small towns though, so when we run out of books I'm scared I won't have anything to do but think like I think about how the night before I left you said you were going back to the place where we fell apart, I don't remember the date but I think you said June and I wonder if you'll be sitting in the terminal by yourself this time and if you remember how a year ago I drove to the airport and got lost and I thought your plane had already left me and I was stuck in traffic but luckily your flight was delayed and you met me on the curb and I wonder if you remember how a year ago I helped you pack your suitcases and when we sat in front of that big window I gave you a paper bag full of your favorite snacks to eat on your long flight I wonder if you'll remember that and if you'll think you were lucky to have me? But I kind of know it probably won't cross your mind and really, how selfish of me to think that, who am I to say that you were lucky to have me and who am I to put words into your mouth and if you had ever meant to say it, you probably would have said it back to me by now I think I don't even know why I'm writing this, there's a minuscule possibility that you might still read this and why am I even giving you the satisfaction of knowing that I still think about things like this, after all this time? but the truth is it's not like that, I'm beyond that I completely accept that whatever I just wrote is a reaction that I'll never get, its just in my head, nothing more and I don't have to try so hard to make myself clear or to be understood or to censor what I think because it's perfect the way I wrote it anyhooooo life is good! out like a trout, peace out scouts #
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