| shut up christine | |
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Wednesday, August 08, 2007 ( 9:38 PM ) shut up christine i am upset. actually, i want to kill someone. this goes back to my first post in india, when i said some things are difficult to write about here it starts off with the same self-absorbed let's-applaud-christine BS, here she is delivering a warm meal to squatters on the side of the road in the pouring rain, now she's playing with the girl with the crutches, please a round of applause. i am so ignorant. i am frustrated that i don't know what the hell is going on, i'm frustrated that i can't speak Gujarati, i'm frustrated that i can barely say this in English. there are times like today when i think i'm doing something meaningful and good. at the end of the day i can pat myself on the back and have a good night's rest. why then, am i not sleeping i'm angry. because i have tunnel-vision not even tunnel-vision more like i'm looking through a straw, blindfolded and i'm angry because i can feel good about myself for giving a scoop of potatoes to the 14 year old girl with the broken leg. and after? well that man standing there is a client, and he's waiting for us to leave because this girl's family made her a prostitute and i hate this. i hate that i know this now, and i can't do anything about it. i hate how i feel right now i hate that most of the time i don't see or hear or notice things like this, because i am so effing ignorant and i hate how people have so much faith in me, how they think i'm a doctor just because i carry band-aids and when they try to tell me how much pain they're in i can't do anything about it except say ma ne mafkaro - i'm sorry what use is that? what am i doing here i will not erase what i just wrote. #
Comments:
Hi kit...it's toyo...i didnt know I could post comments on this! I just wanted to say hi and that I've been reading ur blog ever since you've started your adventures in India....k.i.t. kit...lol..I miss you =)
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# posted by
 : 8/09/2007 7:42 AM |
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