| shut up christine | |
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Monday, August 27, 2007 ( 3:08 PM ) shut up christine i had a meeting with the director of the NGO and... not only is the family not in Kolkata, but they're in a completely different state. when i expressed my willingness to get another plane ticket to see them, his answer was: not possible. he didn't give me many details, but apparently they are experiencing some health complications and i'm not allowed to visit them during this time. second, i've been told it's not safe to travel to/within the state of Bihar anyway. my first thought was na hoy - no way. he could have mentioned this to me over the phone, before i traveled to the opposite side of the country to West Bengal aw man. na hoy. a part of me is heartbroken. this process started almost four months ago when Aena sent me her email, and then losing/finding my luggage with the package inside, and then trying to track down this NGO, and then the gallo and gifts from MS, and then coming all the way here and being so close yet so far... finishing this last leg of the journey and wanting to personally hand-deliver this package to this family i've heard so much about... i realize now that something about it is supremely selfish. i could have easily mailed this package to Kolkata two months ago, but for some deep-rooted egotistic reason i decided on my own that i would come here myself, i wanted to see them smile (for myself) and hug them (for myself) and reap all the benefits of giving this gift (myself), a gift given by someone else. does that make sense? and i think the one thing i can do to add to this gift, the one thing i can do that is purely mine, is to give that up. the founder of the NGO said he will deliver the package to the family, for me. and for Aena and for Manav Sadhna man this has been a humbling lesson in giving selflessly :) i am writing an anonymous letter to the family explaining our story and i hope every word carries the magnitude of love poured into this gift soooo i have a few more days in Kolkata. the cool thing is that i get to spend time with the NGO, they have an outpatient clinic downstairs and they also work with the sex-worker population in Kolkata Heffrey i am scouring the city for your Sai-Baba incense in the blue box but no one seems to know what you're talking about p.s. out of all the places i've ever been India is hands down the most beautiful #
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