| shut up christine | |
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Wednesday, March 04, 2009 ( 6:59 PM ) shut up christine i'm here i came home on sunday and have been meaning to write about my vipassana experience but the past few days have been spent catching up on work. i won't go into the technique so much because that would be better done by a more qualified person but i will say that during each of those 10 days, we spent 11 hours sitting in meditation. i can't speak for everyone, but for me, it was pretty effing hard yo. not only was it physically painful at times, but mentally, i'm finding it difficult to describe in words some people leave before the 10 days are through or someone will break down and start sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of a sit and its impossible to know what they're going through, each of us has to face our shit and we all have our own path to walk, no one can fight your battle but you. i had my own breakdown on day 9 and was like F*CK i need a cigarette NOW and dude i don't even smoke on day 10 we are allowed to start talking again, and i was walking from the meditation hall to the dining area and one of the women smiled at me and said "good morning" and i practically started crying because it was the first time in 10 days that someone had looked me in the face and smiled and directed words at me i am grateful to that woman for breaking my silence in such a beautiful way. anyway, despite the physical and mental agony interspersed between moments of clarity and quiet, everything passes everyone can understand that much, intellectually. yes, things change. anyone can get that. but the purpose of this technique is to understand it experientially; to actually feel it and not just think about; to see things as they really are; to go deep enough to get at the root, you have to work hard at it continuously and its not easy but the benefits are real i am ONLY saying that because i've felt it, a tiny tiny piece of peace if you have a chance to go, i would highly recommend it. i am incredibly lucky, i don't know how many people have the opportunity to dedicate 10 entire days to work on themselves from the inside but this is only the first step you don't have to accept anything i say, and i hope you don't, until you feel it for yourself #
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