( 11:15 AM ) shut up christine
i thought i was going into nursing so that i could do what i really wanted to do,
which wasn't nursing
but i convinced myself just as i had at the motel that i would do whatever it took
and then everything crashed upside down
and i started to question if what i really wanted was really what i wanted in the first place.
even if it was,
i was losing it anyway
and so i sit in the library with these big questions, and all this homework
and i hope i am still here for the right reasons
a while back rahul and i had a discussion about healing and what that process involves
he mentioned a doctor who runs a gift economy clinic in nor cal
and she said something like 90% of healing someone is listening. not only asking what hurts but really listening to what hurts them
for a quiet person, i am a terrible listener.
one of the stations we tried at the Walk this year was Free Listening, i dont think many people participated but the premise is no advice, no interruption, no judgment.
so simple and yet so difficult.
i can balance chemical equations and name the 8549306 parts of the cheek but learning how to listen is not something you can pay a tutor to teach you
whether i go into nursing or not, i hope i will come out of this less stubborn & self-absorbed.
i'm not sure about much else but i am certain this is one of the things i want
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