( 11:09 PM ) shut up christine
today i started wearing a very simple small diamond ring on my left ring finger and no i am not engaged.
i bought this one myself.
i rarely wear jewelry except for the payals from Anchal that i never take off. every other piece of jewelry that i own has either been given to me or is worth less than $8.
inscribed on the inside of the band is Maxine 6.18.42
amy thinks Maxine was a strong woman and maybe some of that will rub off on me.
originally when i bought it i told myself that it was to celebrate that i had gone through a rough patch but was starting to come out of it. it was supposed to be a milestone marker for turning a new leaf but that was wishful thinking, i think i may be stuck on this page for a little while longer.
anyway its on my ring finger because we, i, place so much value and importance on this symbol and all the ideas it represents
similarly i had placed so much value and importance on some thing, some purpose, and someone who meant my everything for the last few years
all these things that seem so important or large or difficult or painful or consuming or my everything in this moment,
eventually they will pass, lose their shine and become dull
in the end its just a rock and piece of metal
and i will try to remember that every time i look at my hand
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