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Thursday, October 28, 2010 ( 4:21 PM ) shut up christine today i scrubbed in on a brain surgery for the first few hours i stood between the two surgeons at the head of the bed, literally 12 inches away from a person's open, pulsing brain i'm glad i had a face mask on so no one could see that my jaw kept dropping partly from shock but mostly in awe it's beautiful beautiful doesn't seem like the right word, at first i've seen lots of beautiful things, but this was beautiful in a way i've never experienced until today they say most students faint not from what they see, its the smells that get you-- the smell of bones being sawed or tissue getting cauterized (i didn't faint don't worry) i totally lucked out because the surg tech went to mount st mary's (fist pump) so she pulled me up to the instrument table and i got to pass scissors and syringes and drop pieces of dura into a bucket i feel really fortunate i know nursing students at most other schools aren't even afforded the opportunity to be in the OR if i don't become an OR nurse, this will likely be the only time in my life that i get to experience this i am eternally grateful and i'll never forget it #
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I've been meaning to respond to this for days, but every time I thought about it I was sure I wasn't ready yet. I don't know why that would be, since I pretty much feel the same now as I did all along. Maybe you can find the difference.
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C, seriously, if you can look at an open skull and a pulsing brain and find it beautiful, you are DEFINITELY on the right track. I know in my soul that such things are beautiful, but I honestly don't have it in me to witness the beauty too often. Or ever. Which I makes us very different people. Thank goodness for that. Just reading this made me knot my face up a bunch of times. Not because of disgust but because I KNOW I CAN'T DO IT. And you can be there and see the beauty. You, lady, are made of great stuff. Ride the wave, C. It's a great one! # posted by
 : 11/09/2010 7:24 PM |
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