( 3:03 PM ) shut up christine
last quarter we spent some time in a nursing home, and i had a female patient
very thin, weak, nonverbal, & bed bound.
i can't remember her exact age but she was over 80
they told me she was a pilot in the military
on her dresser, there was a photo of her in her youth
a strong, beautiful woman standing next to an airplane
i stared at this picture forever
of all the things i've seen in a hospital, this one made me... sad.
maybe sad is not the right word. scared? i'm not sure
growing older is inevitable. i must have some fear related to old age
i imagine my future self to be gray, wrinkly, and happy
this vision never includes having my diaper changed in a nursing home
anyway,
years seem to be passing more quickly now
lately i have been thinking about how short life is
and how i want to spend each of the rest of my days
there's so much i want to do......
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