( 5:05 PM ) shut up christine
old unpublished draft
when i think about the times i have been in love
it wasn't until makoto that i understood how it felt to be loved by me
he was like a mirror, reflecting it back
as much as i love being loved and in love
i have come to appreciate the end of it
the times i have weathered endings in the past, i remember the swollennesss and brokenness of it
the unleashing of madness
the long gradual struggle back to normalcy
crazy as it sounds, i miss this kind of pain at times.
as much as love lifts me
the end sends me to a deep place
and i always find something good there
like the release after a good ugly cry
or a small happiness in between long bouts of sadness
the good parts are so beautiful and rewarding
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