( 12:47 PM ) shut up christine
money is one of my greatest sources of worry
i worry for my future. unexpected expenses. emergencies. nonexistent 401k
i worry if my sister will be able to afford to send my niece and nephew to college
i even worry about other people's debt... your debt.
and the national debt
and the state of the global economy
when my bank balance is low, i regret choices i made in life
frivolous purchases made five years ago
or last week
a dollar here, 50 cents there....wasted
the strange thing is i don't have any debt. none. i feel incredibly fortunate that i am able to say that, when so very few people can.
but i have this erratic fear that i may at any moment acquire massive debt (however unlikely)
and i panic
and take my pennies to coinstar
this morning i was lamenting to makoto
specific instances of money i had lost, lent, spent, or given away YEARS ago...
if only i had that extra thirty dollars in my pocket
his reply:
that money is gone.
it's true. it doesn't matter how much money i have
doesn't matter if i have ten dollars or ten million
i will always be afraid of losing it
no! this is a lie!!
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