Wednesday, January 30, 2019 ( 10:42 PM ) shut up christine conversations at work today
bill asked me what kind of music i like
i said ladysmith black mambazo
sue said oh they did a song with paul simon
me: who's paul simon
i asked bill what he likes
he said he likes movie soundtracks
his favorite is the good the bad and the ugly
never seen it, i said. clint eastwood?
sue tried to summarize the plot for me
she said a chimpanzee sits in clint eastwood's car...
me: ....wait i thought it was a western...
sue: the chimpanzee sits in the passenger seat and the blinker is broken so clint eastwood says "right turn, clyde"
me: you're full of shit
sue: and the chimpanzee punches..
me: YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
sue: HAHAHA *shows me this video clip*
all three of us are laughing so hard we're crying because the premise is bizarre and anyway it's the wrong movie
me: are you on your period? i need to get my period stat. like right now. can i smell you
coworkers: why, kit?
me: i don't want to get my period in india because the stray dogs chase you
them: omg they won't chase you
me: last time i had to carry a fucking stick to scare them off
debbie: come here!! smell me
me: *rubs face on debbie*
#
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
-Last words of Pancho Villa
I am a pencil
ready to write
my life
-Jessica, 4th grade
I Open My Eyes
Take The Crusts Out
Stretch Myself And Check (If I Haven’t)
Returned Again And Everything Is Okay
Still There Is Something Missing
Like All The Walls
-Staralfur, Sigur Ros
Muteness is a speech disorder in which a person lacks the power of articulate speech.